A few things have happened the past few weeks that have literally made me question why I don't punch a lot of people in the throat.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a semi-(non) violent person. But when comes to people messing with my loved ones, well in the spirit of hockey, the gloves come off. Nothing drives me more insane than straight up disrespect. For personal sake, or personal belongings - just have some friggin common courtesy people. 

First off. Let me tell you how deeply sad, and straight up frustrated this makes me -

What's that you say? Well, that my friends is a frozen egg smashed on our car just above the windshield. Completely random, as there were other remains of eggs spewed across the parking lot. Just some kids having fun. Punks. If this was the summer I'd still be upset, but at least we could wash it off. But in -40 degree weather, dead of winter, that baby isn't even budging. Not only that, but it also will remove the paint. WE JUST GOT THAT CAR A MONTH AGO. Gahh. So devastating. Anyone know how to get frozen egg off your car? Hot water did nothing. 

It really breaks my heart that some people can do that stuff, without even thinking of what the other person might be going through, or how it will affect them. 

Anyways, besides that, good things have been happening. Like our sweet baby Renner is finally starting to walk. We couldn't be more excited. People say, "Oh, you're in for it now that he is going to start walking." But really, we've been in for it since he started crawling. He's already gotten into everything, and we've baby proofed as much as we can without making our home stripped, and bare. 

I see it more of a blessing, and gift. Some babies aren't blessed with the ability to walk. So although we might be "in for it", I couldn't be more happy and proud. I try to not take anything Renner can, and is able to do for granted because this life is so short, and by the time I know it he will be graduating High School (tears are now forming, ugghhh). 

So to change the subject, so I don't have a personal waterfall in my bed, I will give you an amazing recipe! Food always cheers me up! Especially if it's sugary goodness. Last night I made a Snickers Salad. SO GOOD. I was intimidated to make it because, well 1, I've never made it before, and 2, I was serving it to the missionaries in the 20 mins after making it. But it turned out to be a big hit. I had our 2nd set of missionaries cut up the apples, and one of them from the 1st set, cut up the snickers. Then once it was mixed, I put it in the fridge for 20/30 minutes. Enchiladas, & Mexican Rice go with Snickers Salad.. Right? 

So, with all that said, it's been a good time the last few weeks, despite the egg fiasco. I'm hoping it warms up a bit so we can go outside, and possibly go for a walk. I'm not built for winters like these. 

Now, just as promised on my IG, here is the recipe. 

Snickers Salad 

1 (12 OZ or 12 L) Tub of Cool Whip 

1 package of Cream Cheese 

1 Cup of Powdered Sugar

4-6 Granny Smith Apples (or which ever apples you prefer, I used those) 

6 Bars of Snickers

(One of the missionaries said that if you freeze the snickers before you mix them in it makes them a bit harder, and crunchier. That way they don't fall apart, and go better with the apples. - I did not do this, and it worked fine for me. My teeth are pretty sensitive so I think the frozen ones would have hurt my teeth anyways.) 

1. Cut up Snickers & Apples into bite sized pieces. Set aside. 

2. Mix Cream Cheese & Powdered Sugar until blended. (I just use my Kitchen Aid) 

3. Blend in Cool Whip, and make sure it's all blended thoroughly. 

4. Fold in Snickers & Apples. (I wouldn't use a machine to mix them in (Kitchen Aid) just because you don't want it to smush the apples or tear up the Snickers) 

5. Place in Fridge for 1 hour to chill. (Or if you're on a time crunch, like I was, just throw it in the freezer for 10/20 mins) 

And there yah go! Yummy Snickers Salad! 

Only the Beginning.

As I write this I am engulfing a sweet and salty almond granola bar before Renner decides to wake up. I've been living off of these and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the past couple weeks. I have been making dinners though. Actual dinners too. Not just easy frozen ones.

Motherhood has been a crazy change of pace.

I feel like a completely different person. A good different. I'm learning to rock the nasty breast milk smell on all of my shirts, wearing nursing bras, my greasy hair always being up, poo and pee on everything, breastfeeding.. in public.., lack of personal space, spit up on all of my clothes, a dirty house, sleeping on clean diapers, having stretch marks, having crazy eyes, having no energy, and wearing the same outfit over and over because I can't bare to move from my spot for fear of waking him. Yet I am the happiest I've ever been. I get to snuggle the cutest little boy of my life anytime I want.

Now do I crave some alone time? Of course. Do I secretly wish I could sleep alone at night - all the way through the night? Yes I do. I'd be crazy if I said I didn't miss sleeping all through the night, and alone with my husband. Do I kind wish I smelled pretty, instead of dried up old breast milk? Trust me I do. Ohh how I long for the smell of my perfume. 

Yes, I would be crazy if I said I didn't miss those things, but really, I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything. I'll gladly take the spit up yoga pants, the dirty hair, the lack of sleep, and stretched out shirts forever for this kid.

Final Round of Pregnancy.

I've hit my 35 weeks mark, and its been one crazy ride let me tell yah. Words can't even describe how I am so incredibly excited to see my cute baby boy! He is getting so big now I can barely breathe. That pesky swelling is finally starting to kick in. My ankles and hands are huge! And they ache like no mans business. Do you know how weird it is to feel water sloshing around in your feet? It's quite nasty. Also, my pelvis, hips, and lower back have never known such pain! I'm one centimeter dilated now, so the days are going by quick but not quick enough. Since his head is in the downward position now he is trying his absolute hardest to break out early - which I don't blame the little guy, it is quite cramped for space in there. I got head smashed so hard in my pelvis the other day by my sweet baby boy that I swear my water was going to break. I was petrified of the thought of labor in the early days of pregnancy, and now I feel that day can't get here faster.

My endometriosis hasn't been my biggest fan either these days since Ren has been getting bigger, stronger, and snuggling up in the most uncomfortable positions. This girl was just so lucky to be placed in the hospital for a week because of the awful pain on my right side - which is where my endo is the worst. They did let me go home when they knew I could handle pain management at home, and not go into preterm labor. Luckily all I really have to do these days now are watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel on my Netflix, and snuggle with Roxy until my love bug makes his appearance. We had a preeclampsia scare this past week because I've been getting crazy bad headaches, seeing black dots, throwing up randomly, gained 11 pounds in a 5 day span, and my heart has felt like its about to explode out of my chest. Luckily all of my blood test are normal, and I don't have any protein in my urine, so for now I'm safe. But my doctor has been keeping a close eye on me. I will say that if I did end up getting preeclampsia this late in my pregnancy I won't be as terrified because Renner is just about full term, so it will be a lot easier to just get him out now than having to wait or put me on bed rest - depending how bad the preeclampsia got. But I'm safe for now! Which is a huge blessing because we don't even have our stuff from Calgary yet!

We are finally in our new home, and have been for the last month and a half. But since we don't have any of our stuff we've been "camping" which basically means that we've been sleeping on an air mattress, which might I add has been quite uncomfortable being 8 months pregnant. So sleep has been quite the adventure. I cannot wait until we have our cute boys room all set up! And also to have our bed, couch, kitchen stuff, coffee table, etc. You truly never realize what an awesome feeling it is to have a bed, until you don't. But this weekend we finally are getting everything! Luckily we do have our TV and have our internet set up so I'm not left with nothing to do. But man do I need to start nesting already! As soon as our house is nicely decorated, and actually has furniture in it, pictures of our humble abode will be posted!

Keagan and I have been trying to fit in date nights as much as possible since we know they will be rare in these months to come. But now that I feel like I'm holding a huge watermelon between my legs its been a challenge. We do try to make it out for wing night on Wednesday nights, because honestly who could pass up 39 cent wings? We also scored some awesome movie passes during Christmas time, and since we LOVE going to movies, we've been doing that a lot as well. Date nights with this incredibly amazing man are always a must, because these days of just him and I will be in short supply in about 4 1/2 weeks. Even if its only playing Call of Duty, and eating junk food - I'll take it.

Time of Thanksgiving.

So living in Canada as an American is kind of a challenge at times. Especially during certain holidays like 4th of July and Thanksgiving. Canadians celebrate their Independence on July 1st, and their Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October. In my family those are pretty big holidays to celebrate, apart from Christmas. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite. I'm the baby of my family you see, and so by the time I was married my siblings were grown, and had families of their own and lived all around the States. So it was always a time with my mom and dad, and I to just be together. Watch movies, EAT, talk about what we're grateful for, what we would like to really improve on in the graditude department, and so on. This year is a little different. It's the first year without my Dad.

This week has been particularly hard on me. Being pregnant my emotions are already heightened, and range from all sides of the emotional pole, and I've just been stuck in this sad whirlwind. Thinking has always been my worse enemy, and now all I have time to do is think. Think about how drastically my life has changed in the past few years, and how things are going to turn out in the future. I'm far away from home with no real connection to my family besides a phone call. It's been quite the challenge. It never use to be though. Looking back I loved to travel, and jumped at the chance to be away from my ever so protective parents. And now all I crave is to be close to them. My mom and I have always had a bit of a struggling relationship. Not that we weren't close, we were extremely close. We were just so alike in a so many different ways we couldn't be compatiable with how each other thought, or reacted to certain things under one roof. But ever since my Dad first got sick, up until he passed we've drawn closer together. It pains me to be so far away from her.

Last night Keagan took me out on a little date. We went to Taco Bell to satifiy my ridiculous preggo craving. When we first were walking in there was this homeless man who was also walking inside to use the bathroom. At first I was kind of put off by his odd mutterings, and weird hand gestures while talking to himself, but I didn't think anything more about him when we walked up to the counter to order. While I was filling my drink up, and gathering some much needed sauce packets, Keagan walks over to the front door to talk to the homeless man, who was now standing in the loft area between the outside door and door to the inside. He asks the man if he was hungry and would like some tacos. The man looked shocked, and gracely replied that he would love some. So Keagan walks over to me and just says, "I'm going to give him some of our tacos okay?". I couldn't even react fast enough, he just grabs them and hands them to the man. We sit down, and couldn't help but just stare up at my amazing husband. I say to him, "You know Keags you are the most amazing man ever, and I'm pretty sure I just fell more in love with you." He laughs is off and says, "Why? Because I gave him tacos?" The thing is it wasn't the fact that he gave him tacos. It was the fact that he didn't even think about it. It just came naturally to him. It put so much prespective into my mind. I have been so wrapped up in my own feelings, and depressed thought process to care to think about anything else.

While sitting there I was reminded of a cute story that happened when my Dad was in the hospital. We went for a walk down the hallway, and we saw this guy with his leg strapped up in a cast held up above him in a sling. I said to my dad, "Man that guy is messed up. That is so sucky." My Dad turns, looks and says, "Oh man I hope he's okay." When we got near the nurses station, that was only a few steps from my dads room, he asks one of the nurses if he can bring the boy in the room with the broken leg a newspaper, magazine, a doughnut, or just something to cheer him up. They said that they didn't have any magazines, except some "chick" ones, and that he was a diabetic. My Dad just had this determined look on his face, but let it go. While I'm in his room looking for a movie for us to watch I turn to ask my dad a question, and he's no where to be seen. (Now my dad has been in the hospital for almost a week, and has tried to escape 4 times. So needless to say I was frantically looking for him.) I run down the hall looking for him, go to the nurses station, and they say they haven't seen him, but offer to help look. As I look away from the counter down the other side of the hallway, the way we came from his walk, I see him skipping towards me. I start laughing and ask him where he was. He just said simply, "I went to bring my newspaper down to that boy, but turns out he wasn't a boy. He was a grown man." I just smiled at him. Here's a man dying of cancer, and in tremendous amount of pain, and it just came so naturally to him to help a guy he didn't even know who was plagued with boredom, and a broken leg laid up in his hospital bed. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to the man who was released the next day.

Sitting there with Keags I asked him what he was most thankful for in the world. He just sat there for a bit, and finally said, "Honestly, I'm thankful for everything. I can't think of one thing I'm not entirely grateful for in my life." It made me think about what I'm truly thankful for.

I'm so thankful to have such a loving, compassionate, understanding husband who loves me everyday to the fullest of his extent, and makes me the happiest woman possible. Who takes care of me when I am at my sickest, and when I am completely healthy. Who shares the same beliefs, and is always striving for our family to become closer to Heavenly Father. I am so thankful that he will be the father of my children. I am thankful for little Renner inside my belly, who is constantly reminding me just how strong he is becoming. I am thankful that I had a Dad so loving and caring to me. Who made me the woman I am today, and taught me the most incredible things I couldn't even begin to explain. Who taught me what to look for in a husband. Who shared his amazing humor gene with me, along with his other amazing traits. Who taught me to embrace life and death with open arms. I'm thankful that I have such an amazing Mother. Whos strength and undying love, and compassion taught me how to love others unconditionally, and to not be afraid of the life I've been given. Who taught me how to have equal measures of being a lover and fighter. Who taught me how to be carefree, and fun. But most of all how to be cautious of the dangers of the world. I'm thankful for my sister who has always played such a huge role in my life. She taught me how to be an amazing mother and wife, and to look at things always in the best light, even when things appear awful during their darkest moments. I'm thankful for my brothers, who have all taught me how to fight properly, how to respect myself as a lady, and how to be the girly-est tomboy around. I'm especially thankful for my sister in law Becky, who without her I surely wouldn't be where I am today. She taught me what it takes to stand up for what I believe in, and how to live a life worth living. Also, I am thankful for our amazing dog Roxy. Without her my life when my husband is away would be terribly boring, and depressing. She brings so much joy into our life its crazy. If we are this obsessed about our little doggie I can only imagine how it will be for our kids!

I have many things I am thankful for in my life. Earthly things, as well as Spiritual things. I am extremely sad that my Dad is gone now, but I am also extremely thankful for the gospel in my life that has taught me that I will see him again, and that he will never truly leave me. I do have to remind myself of that fact from time to time, but I know that he wouldn't want me to be suffering from him going to do the Lord's work. This coming year things will be different. We will be parents. Who knows where we will be living. But one thing is certain. My graditude and love for life, my family, my friends, and everything else that the Lord has blessed us with will be more intense. Life is constantly changing, and throwing us in directions we want and don`t want to go in, but we have control over how we react to these changes. I want to be the best possible role model for our son, and the best mother I can be. Mistakes will happen. Sadness and joy are always apart of my life. But I will live that life in the best possible way I know how, and better.

 

Baby Names Of My Mind.

Well everyone I've reached the 5 1/2 months point and one thing that is on my mind constantly is NAMES. We're having a boy right? And I want his name to be rad, with a little edge to it. My dad recently passed away and I have the strongest feeling to put his middle name as our baby boys middle name, which is Duane. I love it because its my dad's. It's familiar, strong, and makes me feel like he will always be close with our little guy.

In the beginning when thinking of different names I just knew we were having a boy so that's really all we came up with. One of them was Sawyer. Only because 1. I am in TV love with the character from Lost -- Can't get enough of him! But that shortly died. I absolutely love coming up with names though. That has to be the funnest part about being pregnant I swear -- besides Pinteresting amazing nursery ideas. Anyways, we have come across the typical baby names on the baby websites, but they just aren't speaking to me.

Some name choices that we did start to love were Ayden, Mason, and Karter. Our finally decision though, and I am so extremely happy with is Renner Duane Paisley. It is difficult though. If I think about it for too long I start to change my mind, but then I remember how much I have been in love with the name Renner, and I'm good. The thing that does bother me the most are the people with the opinions when you're choosing a name. My goodness I couldn't believe it! I mean granted I've given my own sister a hard time when she was thinking about names for her kiddos, but geeeeez. So now I've learned to just smile and thank them for their opinions, but I think the name is rad, and he will too. :) The one thing I do love about the name is that its unique, but not in a weird sense. If people want to call him Ren for short, be my guest!

I'm still diggin Renner. ;)

Entitled Bliss.

Well people of the blogging world last month was Keagan and mines ONE YEAR anniversary. Quite the crazy and most amazing year it has been. We have barely begun to know the basics of each other, and you know what? I'm okay with that. We are constantly changing; growing into what, and who we want to be for tomorrow. And I love it. Here is a cute, ridculously long, video I made for my incredibly sexy husband for our anniversary. Enjoy!

Entitled Bliss. from Kayla Paisley on Vimeo.

Then There Was Four.

It has been FOREVER since my last post. I suppose because everything has been a bit crazy, hectic the past few months. But the most crazy one I have to say is that WE'RE HAVING A BABY BOY! Probably the biggest decision of our entire life, and we made it. Here are some cute "pre-pregnant belly" pictures for your enjoyment. :)

Pictures were done by my cute sister Stephanie with my camera phone. <33