As I write this I am engulfing a sweet and salty almond granola bar before Renner decides to wake up. I've been living off of these and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the past couple weeks. I have been making dinners though. Actual dinners too. Not just easy frozen ones.
Motherhood has been a crazy change of pace.
I feel like a completely different person. A good different. I'm learning to rock the nasty breast milk smell on all of my shirts, wearing nursing bras, my greasy hair always being up, poo and pee on everything, breastfeeding.. in public.., lack of personal space, spit up on all of my clothes, a dirty house, sleeping on clean diapers, having stretch marks, having crazy eyes, having no energy, and wearing the same outfit over and over because I can't bare to move from my spot for fear of waking him. Yet I am the happiest I've ever been. I get to snuggle the cutest little boy of my life anytime I want.
Now do I crave some alone time? Of course. Do I secretly wish I could sleep alone at night - all the way through the night? Yes I do. I'd be crazy if I said I didn't miss sleeping all through the night, and alone with my husband. Do I kind wish I smelled pretty, instead of dried up old breast milk? Trust me I do. Ohh how I long for the smell of my perfume.
Yes, I would be crazy if I said I didn't miss those things, but really, I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything. I'll gladly take the spit up yoga pants, the dirty hair, the lack of sleep, and stretched out shirts forever for this kid.
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