I had surgery this past Monday to go in and look around my uterus, just to see how my Endo has been doing, among other things. It turned out okay. I have a new diagnose to add to my list of "things". It's called Pelvic Congestion Syndrome. {I threw a link on it, because I'm to exhausted to explain it / sorry folks} So anyways, I've been stuck in bed the majority of the week doing nothing very productive. I'd like to say that I have been reading, studying scriptures, or catching up on journaling - but I haven't. I've been engulfing Jalapeño Cheetos, & downing water while watching all of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbits - Extended Versions. I feel like a champ.

It's been glorious, and sucky. Glorious because I get to take a beat, let my body heal from the surgery, and let it get some rest. But it's been sucky because I'm not allowed to pick Renner up for 2 weeks, at least, so I haven't been able to hold my baby, rock him, put him to sleep, play with him, clean the house the way I think it needs to be done, cook, or really be any help at all. It's sucked. I hate being useless. You'd think it's been fantastic because I do get to not do anything. But as any other mom would know, it's agonizing. Not to mention my mother will be here in.. 5 hours. But hey, at least I'm - somewhat - healthy! 

I will say how incredibly blessed I am to have the husband I do. He has been a true champion this week. - Thank you vacation time! - But seriously, I'd be truly lost without him. He has stepped up to the plate, and has done absolutely everything I've asked of him, and more. The saying, "Nothing is hotter than your man being a dad", is so extremely accurate. I love watching Renner follow, and swoon over his dad, and vice versa. It's an incredible feeling.

Only the Beginning.

As I write this I am engulfing a sweet and salty almond granola bar before Renner decides to wake up. I've been living off of these and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the past couple weeks. I have been making dinners though. Actual dinners too. Not just easy frozen ones.

Motherhood has been a crazy change of pace.

I feel like a completely different person. A good different. I'm learning to rock the nasty breast milk smell on all of my shirts, wearing nursing bras, my greasy hair always being up, poo and pee on everything, breastfeeding.. in public.., lack of personal space, spit up on all of my clothes, a dirty house, sleeping on clean diapers, having stretch marks, having crazy eyes, having no energy, and wearing the same outfit over and over because I can't bare to move from my spot for fear of waking him. Yet I am the happiest I've ever been. I get to snuggle the cutest little boy of my life anytime I want.

Now do I crave some alone time? Of course. Do I secretly wish I could sleep alone at night - all the way through the night? Yes I do. I'd be crazy if I said I didn't miss sleeping all through the night, and alone with my husband. Do I kind wish I smelled pretty, instead of dried up old breast milk? Trust me I do. Ohh how I long for the smell of my perfume. 

Yes, I would be crazy if I said I didn't miss those things, but really, I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything. I'll gladly take the spit up yoga pants, the dirty hair, the lack of sleep, and stretched out shirts forever for this kid.

Final Round of Pregnancy.

I've hit my 35 weeks mark, and its been one crazy ride let me tell yah. Words can't even describe how I am so incredibly excited to see my cute baby boy! He is getting so big now I can barely breathe. That pesky swelling is finally starting to kick in. My ankles and hands are huge! And they ache like no mans business. Do you know how weird it is to feel water sloshing around in your feet? It's quite nasty. Also, my pelvis, hips, and lower back have never known such pain! I'm one centimeter dilated now, so the days are going by quick but not quick enough. Since his head is in the downward position now he is trying his absolute hardest to break out early - which I don't blame the little guy, it is quite cramped for space in there. I got head smashed so hard in my pelvis the other day by my sweet baby boy that I swear my water was going to break. I was petrified of the thought of labor in the early days of pregnancy, and now I feel that day can't get here faster.

My endometriosis hasn't been my biggest fan either these days since Ren has been getting bigger, stronger, and snuggling up in the most uncomfortable positions. This girl was just so lucky to be placed in the hospital for a week because of the awful pain on my right side - which is where my endo is the worst. They did let me go home when they knew I could handle pain management at home, and not go into preterm labor. Luckily all I really have to do these days now are watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel on my Netflix, and snuggle with Roxy until my love bug makes his appearance. We had a preeclampsia scare this past week because I've been getting crazy bad headaches, seeing black dots, throwing up randomly, gained 11 pounds in a 5 day span, and my heart has felt like its about to explode out of my chest. Luckily all of my blood test are normal, and I don't have any protein in my urine, so for now I'm safe. But my doctor has been keeping a close eye on me. I will say that if I did end up getting preeclampsia this late in my pregnancy I won't be as terrified because Renner is just about full term, so it will be a lot easier to just get him out now than having to wait or put me on bed rest - depending how bad the preeclampsia got. But I'm safe for now! Which is a huge blessing because we don't even have our stuff from Calgary yet!

We are finally in our new home, and have been for the last month and a half. But since we don't have any of our stuff we've been "camping" which basically means that we've been sleeping on an air mattress, which might I add has been quite uncomfortable being 8 months pregnant. So sleep has been quite the adventure. I cannot wait until we have our cute boys room all set up! And also to have our bed, couch, kitchen stuff, coffee table, etc. You truly never realize what an awesome feeling it is to have a bed, until you don't. But this weekend we finally are getting everything! Luckily we do have our TV and have our internet set up so I'm not left with nothing to do. But man do I need to start nesting already! As soon as our house is nicely decorated, and actually has furniture in it, pictures of our humble abode will be posted!

Keagan and I have been trying to fit in date nights as much as possible since we know they will be rare in these months to come. But now that I feel like I'm holding a huge watermelon between my legs its been a challenge. We do try to make it out for wing night on Wednesday nights, because honestly who could pass up 39 cent wings? We also scored some awesome movie passes during Christmas time, and since we LOVE going to movies, we've been doing that a lot as well. Date nights with this incredibly amazing man are always a must, because these days of just him and I will be in short supply in about 4 1/2 weeks. Even if its only playing Call of Duty, and eating junk food - I'll take it.

Baby Names Of My Mind.

Well everyone I've reached the 5 1/2 months point and one thing that is on my mind constantly is NAMES. We're having a boy right? And I want his name to be rad, with a little edge to it. My dad recently passed away and I have the strongest feeling to put his middle name as our baby boys middle name, which is Duane. I love it because its my dad's. It's familiar, strong, and makes me feel like he will always be close with our little guy.

In the beginning when thinking of different names I just knew we were having a boy so that's really all we came up with. One of them was Sawyer. Only because 1. I am in TV love with the character from Lost -- Can't get enough of him! But that shortly died. I absolutely love coming up with names though. That has to be the funnest part about being pregnant I swear -- besides Pinteresting amazing nursery ideas. Anyways, we have come across the typical baby names on the baby websites, but they just aren't speaking to me.

Some name choices that we did start to love were Ayden, Mason, and Karter. Our finally decision though, and I am so extremely happy with is Renner Duane Paisley. It is difficult though. If I think about it for too long I start to change my mind, but then I remember how much I have been in love with the name Renner, and I'm good. The thing that does bother me the most are the people with the opinions when you're choosing a name. My goodness I couldn't believe it! I mean granted I've given my own sister a hard time when she was thinking about names for her kiddos, but geeeeez. So now I've learned to just smile and thank them for their opinions, but I think the name is rad, and he will too. :) The one thing I do love about the name is that its unique, but not in a weird sense. If people want to call him Ren for short, be my guest!

I'm still diggin Renner. ;)