I can't believe it's already been a month since Renner was born. It's weird for me to even picture life without him. He just fits so perfectly in our little family.

This first month has had it's up and it's downs, but mostly it has been up. I've had the blessing of having lots of nieces and nephews, so it prepared me for what I was, sort of, getting myself into. I'm honestly not lying, or throwing some cheesy crap in when I say that this first month has been easy. Renner is by far the most perfect baby I could of asked for. All babies cry - Fact. All babies are up during the night - Fact. Now I've either mentally prepared myself ridiculously well, or Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed during this time.

Pregnancy was extremely hard. But seriously all of those sleepless nights, hospital overnighters, unending pain.. everywhere, and my inability to control my emotions was all worth it. This little guy is everything I could have wanted, and I am not taking it for granted.

His eyes are so big and beautiful. I'm hoping they turn a deep, dark brown like his hot daddy's, but it's still a little too soon to really tell. He's smiling a lot more, and that makes me so happy. He absolutely HATES getting his diaper changed if he's pooed. But what he does love are baths. We take baths right before bedtime, and he falls asleep just about every time. He is a crazy gassy baby! I've heard new mothers complain about their baby being gassy, and man do I know how they feel now. That's really the only real reason Ren cries that much is when he has gas bubbles. Ovol is a life saver.

Cleaning will be the death of me though. Since its a complete winter wonderland outside Ren and I are usually camped in the living room watching Netflix since I have zero energy, and in a bit of pain to do anything else. I am at least putting on makeup, somedays, before Keagan gets off work. Mama's gotta stay looking fresh for her man. But as far as getting super dressed up.. It's all yoga pants and tshirts for this new momma. I'm starting to be able to fit into my old clothes again which is fantastic. Breastfeeding really is a miracle.

I am quite sad with how fast time goes. Pretty soon Ren will be walking and talking, and I can't even begin to think about it. I'm excited, but then again I just love him as a baby! He's so snugly, and tiny. I'm going to cherish every second with him at this stage, and keep taking a million pictures.

Final Round of Pregnancy.

I've hit my 35 weeks mark, and its been one crazy ride let me tell yah. Words can't even describe how I am so incredibly excited to see my cute baby boy! He is getting so big now I can barely breathe. That pesky swelling is finally starting to kick in. My ankles and hands are huge! And they ache like no mans business. Do you know how weird it is to feel water sloshing around in your feet? It's quite nasty. Also, my pelvis, hips, and lower back have never known such pain! I'm one centimeter dilated now, so the days are going by quick but not quick enough. Since his head is in the downward position now he is trying his absolute hardest to break out early - which I don't blame the little guy, it is quite cramped for space in there. I got head smashed so hard in my pelvis the other day by my sweet baby boy that I swear my water was going to break. I was petrified of the thought of labor in the early days of pregnancy, and now I feel that day can't get here faster.

My endometriosis hasn't been my biggest fan either these days since Ren has been getting bigger, stronger, and snuggling up in the most uncomfortable positions. This girl was just so lucky to be placed in the hospital for a week because of the awful pain on my right side - which is where my endo is the worst. They did let me go home when they knew I could handle pain management at home, and not go into preterm labor. Luckily all I really have to do these days now are watch some Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel on my Netflix, and snuggle with Roxy until my love bug makes his appearance. We had a preeclampsia scare this past week because I've been getting crazy bad headaches, seeing black dots, throwing up randomly, gained 11 pounds in a 5 day span, and my heart has felt like its about to explode out of my chest. Luckily all of my blood test are normal, and I don't have any protein in my urine, so for now I'm safe. But my doctor has been keeping a close eye on me. I will say that if I did end up getting preeclampsia this late in my pregnancy I won't be as terrified because Renner is just about full term, so it will be a lot easier to just get him out now than having to wait or put me on bed rest - depending how bad the preeclampsia got. But I'm safe for now! Which is a huge blessing because we don't even have our stuff from Calgary yet!

We are finally in our new home, and have been for the last month and a half. But since we don't have any of our stuff we've been "camping" which basically means that we've been sleeping on an air mattress, which might I add has been quite uncomfortable being 8 months pregnant. So sleep has been quite the adventure. I cannot wait until we have our cute boys room all set up! And also to have our bed, couch, kitchen stuff, coffee table, etc. You truly never realize what an awesome feeling it is to have a bed, until you don't. But this weekend we finally are getting everything! Luckily we do have our TV and have our internet set up so I'm not left with nothing to do. But man do I need to start nesting already! As soon as our house is nicely decorated, and actually has furniture in it, pictures of our humble abode will be posted!

Keagan and I have been trying to fit in date nights as much as possible since we know they will be rare in these months to come. But now that I feel like I'm holding a huge watermelon between my legs its been a challenge. We do try to make it out for wing night on Wednesday nights, because honestly who could pass up 39 cent wings? We also scored some awesome movie passes during Christmas time, and since we LOVE going to movies, we've been doing that a lot as well. Date nights with this incredibly amazing man are always a must, because these days of just him and I will be in short supply in about 4 1/2 weeks. Even if its only playing Call of Duty, and eating junk food - I'll take it.

Baby Names Of My Mind.

Well everyone I've reached the 5 1/2 months point and one thing that is on my mind constantly is NAMES. We're having a boy right? And I want his name to be rad, with a little edge to it. My dad recently passed away and I have the strongest feeling to put his middle name as our baby boys middle name, which is Duane. I love it because its my dad's. It's familiar, strong, and makes me feel like he will always be close with our little guy.

In the beginning when thinking of different names I just knew we were having a boy so that's really all we came up with. One of them was Sawyer. Only because 1. I am in TV love with the character from Lost -- Can't get enough of him! But that shortly died. I absolutely love coming up with names though. That has to be the funnest part about being pregnant I swear -- besides Pinteresting amazing nursery ideas. Anyways, we have come across the typical baby names on the baby websites, but they just aren't speaking to me.

Some name choices that we did start to love were Ayden, Mason, and Karter. Our finally decision though, and I am so extremely happy with is Renner Duane Paisley. It is difficult though. If I think about it for too long I start to change my mind, but then I remember how much I have been in love with the name Renner, and I'm good. The thing that does bother me the most are the people with the opinions when you're choosing a name. My goodness I couldn't believe it! I mean granted I've given my own sister a hard time when she was thinking about names for her kiddos, but geeeeez. So now I've learned to just smile and thank them for their opinions, but I think the name is rad, and he will too. :) The one thing I do love about the name is that its unique, but not in a weird sense. If people want to call him Ren for short, be my guest!

I'm still diggin Renner. ;)

Then There Was Four.

It has been FOREVER since my last post. I suppose because everything has been a bit crazy, hectic the past few months. But the most crazy one I have to say is that WE'RE HAVING A BABY BOY! Probably the biggest decision of our entire life, and we made it. Here are some cute "pre-pregnant belly" pictures for your enjoyment. :)

Pictures were done by my cute sister Stephanie with my camera phone. <33 

Could It Be.. Pregnancy?!

Okay everyone! It has been a while since I’ve posted anything so I thought I do some baby talk! No I am sad to report that, I am not pregnant yet. But I will say that Keagan, my adorable, amazing husband, is constantly making fun of me and my seemingly never ending thoughts of being pregnant, and going through at least couple pregnancies tests every month. I will say that I can’t hide the fact that I am incredibly excited for that to happen! Although I’ll admit I might be going a tad bit over board with the fact that I have Baby Fever like crazy, but I can’t help it! My amazing sister has shown me some cute blogs about some woman being "addicted" to pregnancy test, and I will say I can TOTALLY relate. Its hilarious to read these woman sneak into Dollar Tree and grab 1 or 12 test every other week. Now I'm not that extreme, probably because we are poor newly weds, BUT I can't say that if we had extra money I wouldn't give into this crazy pregnancy phenomenon.. But I guarantee that Keagan would stop me haha. He was making a joke a few months back about him wondering since Costco has everything in bulk, if they have a bulk thing of pregnancy test. Every since I've been wishing we had a Costco card so I could go scope out that place and see!

I will say that I perfectly content with just me and my hubby. It is such an amazing thing to sleep next to the love of your life/best friend every night! I can't believe it's even legal! I love it!

I've mentioned in one of my post about me having endometriosis, but surprisingly not a lot of  people really know about it. The downside with having endometriosis, and being pregnant isn’t one of the greatest things I've heard about. My doctor told me that if I ever did choose to have a baby, that my open window to become pregnant is about 2 years, or otherwise I’d become infertile, and that if I did become pregnant that I would either be in the hospital the entire 9 months, or I’d be bedridden. Which I don’t believe for a second, but to be on the safe side, we were going to try and get pregnant this summer… if I’m not already! 

I have done a lot of research as to what would happen if I did get pregnant though. There are some woman who said that they were hurting so bad that they were hospitalized for the entire 9 months, others say it went fine and they’re endo cleared up for the whole pregnancy, but then came back twice as strong a month or two after giving birth, but then a lot of others say being pregnant was the best thing for their endo. So as you can tell there are a lot of different outcomes that could come from it. Now for those of you who don’t know what endometriosis this is the definition from endometriosisinfo.ca:

“Endometriosis is a common and sometimes debilitating condition experienced by women of reproductive age. This disease causes chronic pelvic pain and is sometimes associated with infertility.

Endometriosis is the growth of tissue, similar to the kind that lines a woman's uterus, elsewhere in her body. That 'elsewhere' is usually in the abdomen. This misplaced tissue responds to the menstrual cycle in the same way that the tissue lining the uterus does: each month the tissue builds up, breaks down and sheds. Menstrual blood from the uterus flows out of the body through the vagina; however, the blood and tissue from endometriosis has no way of leaving the body. This results in inflammation and sometimes scarring (adhesions), both of which can cause the painful symptoms of endometriosis and may contribute to difficulty getting pregnant.

Even though endometriosis has been researched extensively, it is a complex disease that can be challenging to diagnose and treat. Many symptoms of endometriosis – severe, painful menstrual cramps, painful intercourse, and gastrointestinal upsets such as diarrhea, constipation, and nausea – are similar to those for a wide variety of other conditions. As well, each woman with endometriosis will experience symptoms differently, depending on the location and extent of her endometriosis. This means that the combination of treatment options that work for one woman may not necessarily work for another. That's why it may take years for a woman and her health-care professional to identify the extent of her endometriosis and find an effective treatment.”

It is a scary and annoying disease that is FOR SURE, but at least I know there is help. So now that you have the basics about it, you can see a little bit of the worry I have. There is a high chance that I could miscarry, or have a premature birth, so I have to look at the risk that could come for the baby, and for me. I’m not so worried about the pain during the pregnancy, as much as the pain afterward because not being able to take care of my baby after carrying him/her for 9 months, honestly breaks my heart. The good thing about all of this though, is that I have an amazing husband who takes care of me so incredibly. He really is the most compassionate, caring, and loving person I have ever met, and puts up with all my crabbiness when I am having my pains. AH! I could talk about him all day he is so awesome! But anyways! The one thing I am glad about though is that I am around family 24/7 who would do anything for us, and that to me is the biggest blessing ever, and makes me feel a bit more secure. 

Even though I might have to go through all of this nonsense about pain and such, I want to have a baby! It is my all time DREAM to have little ones with my amazingly hot husband. And I will make it happen for sure! But seriously, if any woman who read the symptoms and signs of Endometriosis, I highly recommend you get it checked out. Only because the longer you postpone it, the more likely that the endo will become so severe that you do indeed become infertile, and that is the most heart breaking thing I could think of with having this disease. So take a look at this amazing site and do some research if you think that your cramps, might be a little bit more severe than they should be. 

Anyways, in a couple months I hope to be reporting that I am healthy and pregnant! Here is a link that you can go to and watch a video about Endometriosis. Watch it and become aware! :)