As I write this I am engulfing a sweet and salty almond granola bar before Renner decides to wake up. I've been living off of these and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the past couple weeks. I have been making dinners though. Actual dinners too. Not just easy frozen ones.

Motherhood has been a crazy change of pace.

I feel like a completely different person. A good different. I'm learning to rock the nasty breast milk smell on all of my shirts, wearing nursing bras, my greasy hair always being up, poo and pee on everything, breastfeeding.. in public.., lack of personal space, spit up on all of my clothes, a dirty house, sleeping on clean diapers, having stretch marks, having crazy eyes, having no energy, and wearing the same outfit over and over because I can't bare to move from my spot for fear of waking him. Yet I am the happiest I've ever been. I get to snuggle the cutest little boy of my life anytime I want.

Now do I crave some alone time? Of course. Do I secretly wish I could sleep alone at night - all the way through the night? Yes I do. I'd be crazy if I said I didn't miss sleeping all through the night, and alone with my husband. Do I kind wish I smelled pretty, instead of dried up old breast milk? Trust me I do. Ohh how I long for the smell of my perfume. 

Yes, I would be crazy if I said I didn't miss those things, but really, I wouldn't trade motherhood for anything. I'll gladly take the spit up yoga pants, the dirty hair, the lack of sleep, and stretched out shirts forever for this kid.

Entitled Bliss.

Well people of the blogging world last month was Keagan and mines ONE YEAR anniversary. Quite the crazy and most amazing year it has been. We have barely begun to know the basics of each other, and you know what? I'm okay with that. We are constantly changing; growing into what, and who we want to be for tomorrow. And I love it. Here is a cute, ridculously long, video I made for my incredibly sexy husband for our anniversary. Enjoy!

Entitled Bliss. from Kayla Paisley on Vimeo.

Then There Was Four.

It has been FOREVER since my last post. I suppose because everything has been a bit crazy, hectic the past few months. But the most crazy one I have to say is that WE'RE HAVING A BABY BOY! Probably the biggest decision of our entire life, and we made it. Here are some cute "pre-pregnant belly" pictures for your enjoyment. :)

Pictures were done by my cute sister Stephanie with my camera phone. <33 

Mulitiple Me's.

Keagan and I have been on and off with watching the show "United States of Tara" on Netflix, which is about a woman who is struggling to deal with her multiple personality disorder while raising her family, and it is quite hilarious. While we were watching it a few weeks ago he turns to me and says, "You know Sue, you kind of remind me of her...". I turn to gape at him, and he quickly backpedals by saying, "Well, not that intensely, but kind of. Sorta...".  Wowww, haha okay? Thanks? I think.... Oh the things my husband says without his filter turned on.

Now with that thought implanted, and roaming freely around in my head it got me thinking... What the freak did he mean by that!? So I casually bring it up one night while we were snuggling, and I just simply say, "Love... What did you mean when you said I reminded you of Tara?" He giggles and started to say he was kidding, but he stopped and looked at me and said, "You really want to know?" -- Well DUH! That's why I was asking silly kid. -- When I nodded he starts telling me all of these ideas that he has formed inside his cute head about my "alters".

He started saying how he pictures that there is 3 of me inside my head trained to handle certain situations. "There's Kayla, the serious but funny one; who loves wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and is pretty passive about everything; acts cool and quiet, plays video games, and watches movies. She's the domestic side of you. Then there's Sue, (which is my middle name) who is loud, carefree, laughs about everything, a bit dramatic, fearless and is willing to do anything, and every time I picture her I see sweatpants, an over sized shirt with no makeup on and with her hair tied up with a bandana wrapped around her head holding up the peace sign; she's your teenage side. Then of course, there's Nikki (which if anyone has ever seen the show Heroes, you know what I'm talking about) who is the scary, yet sexy side of you. She wears tight skirts, and high heels, flips out about the smallest stuff, gets jealous, acts provocative, is ruthless in a fight, isn't afraid to say what she is thinking - even if its mean, stands up for herself, rolls her eyes at everything, and to be honest is just plain scary, in an extremely hot way; she's your "dark side"."

Hearing all of that, and letting it sink in my curiosity starts stirring rampantly inside about which one he fancies the best. When asked he turns to me, and cradles my face and says sweetly, "Kayla Sue I love all of them. Simple as that. They each play a part in who you are, and how you handle certain things, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And besides I knew you were crazy before I married you." Ohhh I love this man! He definitely knows me better than I know myself because I would never of even begun to think of myself as having 3 different people take turns inside my head.

I've had some friends, and my family tell me I have certain "sides" they like better, but I never really paid attention. Its so funny to me that my husband figures it all out by watching a silly TV show.

Obviously, to anyone reading this, I do not have a multiple personality disorder. I am a girl, who has a lot of personality, with an amazing husband who puts up with it all.



Have you ever been accused of having multiple personalities? Or just being a girl in general, like me?

Could It Be.. Pregnancy?!

Okay everyone! It has been a while since I’ve posted anything so I thought I do some baby talk! No I am sad to report that, I am not pregnant yet. But I will say that Keagan, my adorable, amazing husband, is constantly making fun of me and my seemingly never ending thoughts of being pregnant, and going through at least couple pregnancies tests every month. I will say that I can’t hide the fact that I am incredibly excited for that to happen! Although I’ll admit I might be going a tad bit over board with the fact that I have Baby Fever like crazy, but I can’t help it! My amazing sister has shown me some cute blogs about some woman being "addicted" to pregnancy test, and I will say I can TOTALLY relate. Its hilarious to read these woman sneak into Dollar Tree and grab 1 or 12 test every other week. Now I'm not that extreme, probably because we are poor newly weds, BUT I can't say that if we had extra money I wouldn't give into this crazy pregnancy phenomenon.. But I guarantee that Keagan would stop me haha. He was making a joke a few months back about him wondering since Costco has everything in bulk, if they have a bulk thing of pregnancy test. Every since I've been wishing we had a Costco card so I could go scope out that place and see!

I will say that I perfectly content with just me and my hubby. It is such an amazing thing to sleep next to the love of your life/best friend every night! I can't believe it's even legal! I love it!

I've mentioned in one of my post about me having endometriosis, but surprisingly not a lot of  people really know about it. The downside with having endometriosis, and being pregnant isn’t one of the greatest things I've heard about. My doctor told me that if I ever did choose to have a baby, that my open window to become pregnant is about 2 years, or otherwise I’d become infertile, and that if I did become pregnant that I would either be in the hospital the entire 9 months, or I’d be bedridden. Which I don’t believe for a second, but to be on the safe side, we were going to try and get pregnant this summer… if I’m not already! 

I have done a lot of research as to what would happen if I did get pregnant though. There are some woman who said that they were hurting so bad that they were hospitalized for the entire 9 months, others say it went fine and they’re endo cleared up for the whole pregnancy, but then came back twice as strong a month or two after giving birth, but then a lot of others say being pregnant was the best thing for their endo. So as you can tell there are a lot of different outcomes that could come from it. Now for those of you who don’t know what endometriosis this is the definition from endometriosisinfo.ca:

“Endometriosis is a common and sometimes debilitating condition experienced by women of reproductive age. This disease causes chronic pelvic pain and is sometimes associated with infertility.

Endometriosis is the growth of tissue, similar to the kind that lines a woman's uterus, elsewhere in her body. That 'elsewhere' is usually in the abdomen. This misplaced tissue responds to the menstrual cycle in the same way that the tissue lining the uterus does: each month the tissue builds up, breaks down and sheds. Menstrual blood from the uterus flows out of the body through the vagina; however, the blood and tissue from endometriosis has no way of leaving the body. This results in inflammation and sometimes scarring (adhesions), both of which can cause the painful symptoms of endometriosis and may contribute to difficulty getting pregnant.

Even though endometriosis has been researched extensively, it is a complex disease that can be challenging to diagnose and treat. Many symptoms of endometriosis – severe, painful menstrual cramps, painful intercourse, and gastrointestinal upsets such as diarrhea, constipation, and nausea – are similar to those for a wide variety of other conditions. As well, each woman with endometriosis will experience symptoms differently, depending on the location and extent of her endometriosis. This means that the combination of treatment options that work for one woman may not necessarily work for another. That's why it may take years for a woman and her health-care professional to identify the extent of her endometriosis and find an effective treatment.”

It is a scary and annoying disease that is FOR SURE, but at least I know there is help. So now that you have the basics about it, you can see a little bit of the worry I have. There is a high chance that I could miscarry, or have a premature birth, so I have to look at the risk that could come for the baby, and for me. I’m not so worried about the pain during the pregnancy, as much as the pain afterward because not being able to take care of my baby after carrying him/her for 9 months, honestly breaks my heart. The good thing about all of this though, is that I have an amazing husband who takes care of me so incredibly. He really is the most compassionate, caring, and loving person I have ever met, and puts up with all my crabbiness when I am having my pains. AH! I could talk about him all day he is so awesome! But anyways! The one thing I am glad about though is that I am around family 24/7 who would do anything for us, and that to me is the biggest blessing ever, and makes me feel a bit more secure. 

Even though I might have to go through all of this nonsense about pain and such, I want to have a baby! It is my all time DREAM to have little ones with my amazingly hot husband. And I will make it happen for sure! But seriously, if any woman who read the symptoms and signs of Endometriosis, I highly recommend you get it checked out. Only because the longer you postpone it, the more likely that the endo will become so severe that you do indeed become infertile, and that is the most heart breaking thing I could think of with having this disease. So take a look at this amazing site and do some research if you think that your cramps, might be a little bit more severe than they should be. 

Anyways, in a couple months I hope to be reporting that I am healthy and pregnant! Here is a link that you can go to and watch a video about Endometriosis. Watch it and become aware! :)