So living in Canada as an American is kind of a challenge at times. Especially during certain holidays like 4th of July and Thanksgiving. Canadians celebrate their Independence on July 1st, and their Thanksgiving on the second Monday of October. In my family those are pretty big holidays to celebrate, apart from Christmas. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite. I'm the baby of my family you see, and so by the time I was married my siblings were grown, and had families of their own and lived all around the States. So it was always a time with my mom and dad, and I to just be together. Watch movies, EAT, talk about what we're grateful for, what we would like to really improve on in the graditude department, and so on. This year is a little different. It's the first year without my Dad.

This week has been particularly hard on me. Being pregnant my emotions are already heightened, and range from all sides of the emotional pole, and I've just been stuck in this sad whirlwind. Thinking has always been my worse enemy, and now all I have time to do is think. Think about how drastically my life has changed in the past few years, and how things are going to turn out in the future. I'm far away from home with no real connection to my family besides a phone call. It's been quite the challenge. It never use to be though. Looking back I loved to travel, and jumped at the chance to be away from my ever so protective parents. And now all I crave is to be close to them. My mom and I have always had a bit of a struggling relationship. Not that we weren't close, we were extremely close. We were just so alike in a so many different ways we couldn't be compatiable with how each other thought, or reacted to certain things under one roof. But ever since my Dad first got sick, up until he passed we've drawn closer together. It pains me to be so far away from her.

Last night Keagan took me out on a little date. We went to Taco Bell to satifiy my ridiculous preggo craving. When we first were walking in there was this homeless man who was also walking inside to use the bathroom. At first I was kind of put off by his odd mutterings, and weird hand gestures while talking to himself, but I didn't think anything more about him when we walked up to the counter to order. While I was filling my drink up, and gathering some much needed sauce packets, Keagan walks over to the front door to talk to the homeless man, who was now standing in the loft area between the outside door and door to the inside. He asks the man if he was hungry and would like some tacos. The man looked shocked, and gracely replied that he would love some. So Keagan walks over to me and just says, "I'm going to give him some of our tacos okay?". I couldn't even react fast enough, he just grabs them and hands them to the man. We sit down, and couldn't help but just stare up at my amazing husband. I say to him, "You know Keags you are the most amazing man ever, and I'm pretty sure I just fell more in love with you." He laughs is off and says, "Why? Because I gave him tacos?" The thing is it wasn't the fact that he gave him tacos. It was the fact that he didn't even think about it. It just came naturally to him. It put so much prespective into my mind. I have been so wrapped up in my own feelings, and depressed thought process to care to think about anything else.

While sitting there I was reminded of a cute story that happened when my Dad was in the hospital. We went for a walk down the hallway, and we saw this guy with his leg strapped up in a cast held up above him in a sling. I said to my dad, "Man that guy is messed up. That is so sucky." My Dad turns, looks and says, "Oh man I hope he's okay." When we got near the nurses station, that was only a few steps from my dads room, he asks one of the nurses if he can bring the boy in the room with the broken leg a newspaper, magazine, a doughnut, or just something to cheer him up. They said that they didn't have any magazines, except some "chick" ones, and that he was a diabetic. My Dad just had this determined look on his face, but let it go. While I'm in his room looking for a movie for us to watch I turn to ask my dad a question, and he's no where to be seen. (Now my dad has been in the hospital for almost a week, and has tried to escape 4 times. So needless to say I was frantically looking for him.) I run down the hall looking for him, go to the nurses station, and they say they haven't seen him, but offer to help look. As I look away from the counter down the other side of the hallway, the way we came from his walk, I see him skipping towards me. I start laughing and ask him where he was. He just said simply, "I went to bring my newspaper down to that boy, but turns out he wasn't a boy. He was a grown man." I just smiled at him. Here's a man dying of cancer, and in tremendous amount of pain, and it just came so naturally to him to help a guy he didn't even know who was plagued with boredom, and a broken leg laid up in his hospital bed. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to the man who was released the next day.

Sitting there with Keags I asked him what he was most thankful for in the world. He just sat there for a bit, and finally said, "Honestly, I'm thankful for everything. I can't think of one thing I'm not entirely grateful for in my life." It made me think about what I'm truly thankful for.

I'm so thankful to have such a loving, compassionate, understanding husband who loves me everyday to the fullest of his extent, and makes me the happiest woman possible. Who takes care of me when I am at my sickest, and when I am completely healthy. Who shares the same beliefs, and is always striving for our family to become closer to Heavenly Father. I am so thankful that he will be the father of my children. I am thankful for little Renner inside my belly, who is constantly reminding me just how strong he is becoming. I am thankful that I had a Dad so loving and caring to me. Who made me the woman I am today, and taught me the most incredible things I couldn't even begin to explain. Who taught me what to look for in a husband. Who shared his amazing humor gene with me, along with his other amazing traits. Who taught me to embrace life and death with open arms. I'm thankful that I have such an amazing Mother. Whos strength and undying love, and compassion taught me how to love others unconditionally, and to not be afraid of the life I've been given. Who taught me how to have equal measures of being a lover and fighter. Who taught me how to be carefree, and fun. But most of all how to be cautious of the dangers of the world. I'm thankful for my sister who has always played such a huge role in my life. She taught me how to be an amazing mother and wife, and to look at things always in the best light, even when things appear awful during their darkest moments. I'm thankful for my brothers, who have all taught me how to fight properly, how to respect myself as a lady, and how to be the girly-est tomboy around. I'm especially thankful for my sister in law Becky, who without her I surely wouldn't be where I am today. She taught me what it takes to stand up for what I believe in, and how to live a life worth living. Also, I am thankful for our amazing dog Roxy. Without her my life when my husband is away would be terribly boring, and depressing. She brings so much joy into our life its crazy. If we are this obsessed about our little doggie I can only imagine how it will be for our kids!

I have many things I am thankful for in my life. Earthly things, as well as Spiritual things. I am extremely sad that my Dad is gone now, but I am also extremely thankful for the gospel in my life that has taught me that I will see him again, and that he will never truly leave me. I do have to remind myself of that fact from time to time, but I know that he wouldn't want me to be suffering from him going to do the Lord's work. This coming year things will be different. We will be parents. Who knows where we will be living. But one thing is certain. My graditude and love for life, my family, my friends, and everything else that the Lord has blessed us with will be more intense. Life is constantly changing, and throwing us in directions we want and don`t want to go in, but we have control over how we react to these changes. I want to be the best possible role model for our son, and the best mother I can be. Mistakes will happen. Sadness and joy are always apart of my life. But I will live that life in the best possible way I know how, and better.

 

Love Like Woah.

Keagan Willis Gordon Paisley.
The name of the man that would become my husband - For time & all eternity.


There have been many trials, tribulations, blessings, and down right miracles that have happened in my short 20 years of being on this Earth. But I tell you what, nothing has been quite as amazing as meeting, falling in love, & finally, marrying my best friend, & better half. 

He was my amazing missionary. And I was that girl who developed a cute little, innocent crush on her missionary. I had fallen pretty hard away from the church, and slowly but surely I started to re-develop a stronger testimony. Not because of a "boy". But because of the unconditional love from my Heavenly Father & family, and the encouragement, and strength from our awesome missionaries. They all helped give me the tools to grow my testimony tremendously. Our relationship during his mission, was a safety net. It was pure, genuine friendship, and missionary work.

The more we talked, the more we learned about each other. I learned he was a Canadian, and that before his mission he lived in Calgary, Alberta, and that he was adopted into an amazing LDS family. We would joke that because my sister, and her family, also lived in Calgary, that they were all probably in the same ward. Turns out not only were they in the same ward, but they lived down the street from each other. We got to talking more, and we learned that my brother-in-law, Jess, and Keagan's Dad are from the same hometown of Raymond. And that Jess is also lifetime best friends with Keagan's cousin, and that, I too, am good friends with one of his cousin. Such an amazing thing. Heavenly Father planted us there, at that exact same time. It was like we were destined.

Move forward a few years, and good ol' Elder Paisley was off his mission, and back in Calgary. I had moved back to Montana to be with my parents a few months earlier. We were only 6 hours away. I was dating someone at the time he got home, and he went to work up in the oil rigs for a few months. So after weeks of flirtatious texting when I was finally single, and he was done working up north, he came to visit. (That cute boy had also decided to send his mission bike to my house after he was done with his mission. Clever boy. So, coming to "visit" was pretty much inevitable.) He came for the weekend, and it was so much fun. Just finally being able to near him was like I was able to breathe again. I decided to go back home with him on the day he was going home. Just a random, "What if I came back with you?" My sister did live down the street from his parents, where he was staying, so why not? It was the funnest road trip we both have ever been on. And ever since we were inseparable. We knew we would get married. It wasn't a matter of "if", just a matter of "when". 2 weeks into dating, and we were already "ring snooping". Fools in love rush in. And it was so magical.

 

Then September 6th comes. 
We had been planning this "photoshoot" for a few weeks with our good friend, Jane, to help "build her portfolio" - at least that's what I was told. The evening before I could not sleep, so I stayed up late with my best girlfriend watching Supernatural, and eating junk food. Needless to say, when I woke up - I felt awful. I got up anyways, & got ready anyways. I wanted to cancel. Keagan begs me to down a glass of water, and eat a donut. 
"You'll feel so much better!" - Ugh.
So with him, and my sister, Stephanie, practically pushing me out the door with my ice, cold glass of water, and donut in hand, we walk to the car. Steph runs outside to give me her camera. "Incase you want to film the photoshoot? Or something.." - "Why would we want to take a video of the photoshoot, Steph? That doesn't even make sense.." - Now, obviously, to normal people / BELLS/ me? Not a chance. I was sick! - So off we went to a beautiful gated community, that held a man-made waterfall. My favorite things on this Earth. It was perfect.

 (INSIDE STORY // I had told Keagan that if he were to propose to me he MUST do it with a ring pop because it would be halarious, and I would definitely say yes)

We did a few romantic shots around the waterfall. Then Jane hands Keagan a dandelion. I yell, "Keags! You should get down on one knee and fake propose to me!" He of course looks at Jane, and Ben, our other friend/Jane's assistant that morning, and they all laugh. I just keep doing what I'm doing, being super oblivious to everything. Keagan gets down on one knee, and.. Well, just watch the video -

 

 PS; Sorry for the random clicks, they are just photo snaps along with the video !

Also, yes he did pull out a Ring Pop. - Which is why I was laughing hysterically in the beginning.

After this incredibly planned engagement we whisk away to our favorite breakfast place, Cora's.

 {Their crepes are heavenly.} 

I call my Mom on the way there. Apparently, and luckily, Keagan had already called to talk to both of them. My Dad gave Keagan the sweetest advice, and acceptance talk. 

 

 

"I can't believe how well you fit so easily, and perfectly into our family. I know you will take care of her, and that you love her with all your heart. She's my baby girl, and now I'm handing her over to you. It would be my pleasure for you to marry her."

 When we got home my sister was beaming. We got to planning asap, because we had decided, if we did get engaged, that we would want to get married around the 21st, weeks prior. So it was set.

October 21, 2011 was the date.

6 weeks of planning // Everything,

And we did it.

It was stressful.
It was beautiful.
It was magical.
You can find our wedding post here.

These are only bits & pieces of just how magical our story is.
But this blog is dedicated to those we like to share.
This is our journey.



Engagement photos by: Jane Blomfield
She is an incredible photographer.
She also did our wedding photos.