Love Is A Many Splendid Thing.

As I lay here in bed tonight Pinteresting, and distracted by how tomorrow will go down, and all of the random, unimportant things that need to be done; like, how I need to clean this or that, what needs to be taken care of, I really need to go buy chalk, I need to go get more blood work done, I definitely need a shower.. And as I'm going through all of these awesome Pins, I come across this amazing blog post about this lady who wrote about the 10 things she would like to improve on as a wife, or just advice for other women, about how to become a "Godly" wife, and I was taken aback. It was beautifully written, and so extremely true in so many ways.

Sometimes I forgot how to "feed" my husband because I get caught up in my own self with worries and thoughts, and worldly things that I often forget that Keagan is the most important people in my life. 

He is my beloved husband who cares, and nurtures me with every ounce of his being. He always has my back, when I feel defeated. He always stands up for me, even when I am wrong, and then kindly sits me down and tells me later that I was indeed wrong. He has had faith in me since the day we met, and has never doubted me. He always makes sure my needs are met before his. He stays home from work when I need him the most, even if it would require us to suffer financially. He lets me sleep in on his days off to play with Renner. He is a worthy priesthood holder. He helps me understand basic scriptural and doctrinal knowledge, without any sort of belittlement. He makes me laugh every single day. He makes high stress situation feel less stressful. He helps drag me out of "Kayla's World", and brings me back into reality. So many things that I could go on about that he helps me be the best person I can be, and loves me for all my short comings. 

So tonight as I lay here beside my loving husband, who is fast asleep, I listen to his deep breathing, that I can't sleep without, and I can't help but feel giddy, and realize that I have never been so full of love, and have never been shown the kind of love that he has shown me in my entire life. It is a different type of love. And I love it. 

Keagan deserves to have a wife who takes care of him, and who will cherish him. Sometimes, a lot of the time, I take that for granted. I feel that every husband is this way, or that this is the normal. But then I read these stories, or hear things about others, and realize just how lucky I am. Husbands need to be told when they are appreciated, and need to know that they are loved. It's simple. And sadly, I forget to tell him how grateful I am for all of the things he does. Husbands need to be fed, and not just the literally feeding, but actual words and actions. They need to be shown that they are loved. Husbands need to know that they are the head of the household. I have a semi-dominant personality, and sometimes I know when to let go, and other times I keep on going. And certains times it's a good thing, but most of the time I know I'm wrong, and know it makes Keagan feel semi-inadequate. I need to take a step back, and remember that he is the priesthood holder of our household, and he knows what needs to be done. He is our protecter, our provider, and that's how they were created, and how God destined them to be. 

I am guilty for a lot of things, and I know that I need to work on quite a few areas to become the woman I need to be. I'm not saying that I need to necessarily do a drastic, life altering change, but I do need to tweak a few things about myself so we can live a happier life. And the way I start doing that is by becoming completely selfless, humble, and becoming stronger in my faith. I have heard countless times that, "once you start putting Heavenly Father first, everything else falls into place", and I believe that is 100% true. I also believe that you can make any relationship work as long as there is some compatibility, love, and trust there. I believe that there are unlimited paths you could take that will bring you to any person that you "can" marry. But I also believe that Heavenly Father has one particular person in mind for you that is the absolute perfect match who is design just for you. And I know that I have found mine. 

I know that Keagan and I knew each other before this life. I know that we are meant to be. How do I know that? Was there a huge giant sign that pointed me directly to him? Did Heavenly Father tell me it was the right thing to do? Well, I hate to disappoint, but no. There wasn't any specific sign. There wasn't this overwhelming desire, or gut punching feeling that I had to be with him.. Well, not exactly. What I felt was entirely different. I felt completely at peace. I had zero doubts. I felt overwhelmingly blissful. I felt compelled that he was the only one for me. I felt at peace. 

Most LDS folks, or Mormons, would ask, did you pray about him? Like, did you pray if he was the right choice? What if you aren't meant to be with him? Well, I wasn't technically raised in the church, but I have always had this thought that, why would you have to pray if this was the right man for me to marry if we have free agency? I would have thought that Heavenly Father wouldn't give you the answer one way or the other because it's our right to choose. Now, yes, of course he will guide you. But to directly make the biggest decision of your entire life? I just don't understand it. Anyways, of course I prayed about Keagan, I just didn't pray about him like that. I prayed, and told my Heavenly Father that I am marrying him, and I hope that he will give me his blessing, and help me be the best wife I can be, and help guide us in this life together with Him as our foundation. 

Now, on that note I have made a vow to myself that I will start remembering to put my Heavenly Father first. And that I will show Keagan how much he means to me, and this family each and everyday. I will remember that Keagan and I are human. We make mistakes, but that our love is undeniable. That there is no ending our marriage when times get rough. That our goal on this Earth is to learn, grow, raise a family, be charitable, have faith, be sealed in the Temple for time and all eternity, love each other with every fiber of our being, speak only kind words to one another, and then one day we will return to live with our Father in heaven.