I am so full of excitement, and love for my mom and sister! They were featured on mormonwomen.com for my moms amazing will power of breaking the cycle of sex slavery in our family that has been going on for 4 generations. Now, I have talked about my sister, Stephanie, in past blog post, and have written about how she and her husband started Backyard Broadcast/Child Rescue, which sole purpose is to combat sex slavery, and how amazing the cause is, and how it hits home for us specifically, and this month she was interviewed by Mormon Women!                                                                                                                                                                      She talks about her conversion story, all about my mom's story, and about the foundation. It's quite an amazing read, and I'm not just saying that because I am bias. It truly is. My mother and sister are amazing women. My sister and I are 11 years apart, and I look up to her in so many ways. She is my best friend, and my idol. Growing up I may not have always appreciated her wisdom, and "motherly" ways toward me, but now I can't help but be in awe of her, and try to become more like her. My mom is my best friend also, and my hero. She did something for us girls that I will always cherish. She took us out of that lifestyle, and gave us a chance at doing something for ourselves; teaching us that our body belongs to no man, and that we can have more in life. I will always appreciate my Mom for teaching me that, and helping us know that we are loved no matter what. 

Now, growing up was difficult at times with my moms life the way it was. Life as a kid was different than most childhoods. We were taught to be more cautious, and to notice things that a 6 or 7 year old wouldn't even begin to think about. We weren't allowed to be near our friends dad's, or be alone with any boy when we were little, ever. Stephanie definitely had it way worse than me. My mom was still on super high alert, because she hadn't met my dad yet.. ha, well even then she was on high alert,  just more relaxed. But my dad changed her. Showed her real love, and what it was like to actually have a man who never laid a hand on her, and being kind and loving. Now my dad was far from perfect, but he was perfect for her. 

Anyways, read the article! I'm super proud of them both.
http://www.mormonwomen.com/2013/11/20/rescued-from-exploitation/

Steph - 32 / Me - 21

Steph - 11 / Me - 6 Months

Love Is A Many Splendid Thing.

As I lay here in bed tonight Pinteresting, and distracted by how tomorrow will go down, and all of the random, unimportant things that need to be done; like, how I need to clean this or that, what needs to be taken care of, I really need to go buy chalk, I need to go get more blood work done, I definitely need a shower.. And as I'm going through all of these awesome Pins, I come across this amazing blog post about this lady who wrote about the 10 things she would like to improve on as a wife, or just advice for other women, about how to become a "Godly" wife, and I was taken aback. It was beautifully written, and so extremely true in so many ways.

Sometimes I forgot how to "feed" my husband because I get caught up in my own self with worries and thoughts, and worldly things that I often forget that Keagan is the most important people in my life. 

He is my beloved husband who cares, and nurtures me with every ounce of his being. He always has my back, when I feel defeated. He always stands up for me, even when I am wrong, and then kindly sits me down and tells me later that I was indeed wrong. He has had faith in me since the day we met, and has never doubted me. He always makes sure my needs are met before his. He stays home from work when I need him the most, even if it would require us to suffer financially. He lets me sleep in on his days off to play with Renner. He is a worthy priesthood holder. He helps me understand basic scriptural and doctrinal knowledge, without any sort of belittlement. He makes me laugh every single day. He makes high stress situation feel less stressful. He helps drag me out of "Kayla's World", and brings me back into reality. So many things that I could go on about that he helps me be the best person I can be, and loves me for all my short comings. 

So tonight as I lay here beside my loving husband, who is fast asleep, I listen to his deep breathing, that I can't sleep without, and I can't help but feel giddy, and realize that I have never been so full of love, and have never been shown the kind of love that he has shown me in my entire life. It is a different type of love. And I love it. 

Keagan deserves to have a wife who takes care of him, and who will cherish him. Sometimes, a lot of the time, I take that for granted. I feel that every husband is this way, or that this is the normal. But then I read these stories, or hear things about others, and realize just how lucky I am. Husbands need to be told when they are appreciated, and need to know that they are loved. It's simple. And sadly, I forget to tell him how grateful I am for all of the things he does. Husbands need to be fed, and not just the literally feeding, but actual words and actions. They need to be shown that they are loved. Husbands need to know that they are the head of the household. I have a semi-dominant personality, and sometimes I know when to let go, and other times I keep on going. And certains times it's a good thing, but most of the time I know I'm wrong, and know it makes Keagan feel semi-inadequate. I need to take a step back, and remember that he is the priesthood holder of our household, and he knows what needs to be done. He is our protecter, our provider, and that's how they were created, and how God destined them to be. 

I am guilty for a lot of things, and I know that I need to work on quite a few areas to become the woman I need to be. I'm not saying that I need to necessarily do a drastic, life altering change, but I do need to tweak a few things about myself so we can live a happier life. And the way I start doing that is by becoming completely selfless, humble, and becoming stronger in my faith. I have heard countless times that, "once you start putting Heavenly Father first, everything else falls into place", and I believe that is 100% true. I also believe that you can make any relationship work as long as there is some compatibility, love, and trust there. I believe that there are unlimited paths you could take that will bring you to any person that you "can" marry. But I also believe that Heavenly Father has one particular person in mind for you that is the absolute perfect match who is design just for you. And I know that I have found mine. 

I know that Keagan and I knew each other before this life. I know that we are meant to be. How do I know that? Was there a huge giant sign that pointed me directly to him? Did Heavenly Father tell me it was the right thing to do? Well, I hate to disappoint, but no. There wasn't any specific sign. There wasn't this overwhelming desire, or gut punching feeling that I had to be with him.. Well, not exactly. What I felt was entirely different. I felt completely at peace. I had zero doubts. I felt overwhelmingly blissful. I felt compelled that he was the only one for me. I felt at peace. 

Most LDS folks, or Mormons, would ask, did you pray about him? Like, did you pray if he was the right choice? What if you aren't meant to be with him? Well, I wasn't technically raised in the church, but I have always had this thought that, why would you have to pray if this was the right man for me to marry if we have free agency? I would have thought that Heavenly Father wouldn't give you the answer one way or the other because it's our right to choose. Now, yes, of course he will guide you. But to directly make the biggest decision of your entire life? I just don't understand it. Anyways, of course I prayed about Keagan, I just didn't pray about him like that. I prayed, and told my Heavenly Father that I am marrying him, and I hope that he will give me his blessing, and help me be the best wife I can be, and help guide us in this life together with Him as our foundation. 

Now, on that note I have made a vow to myself that I will start remembering to put my Heavenly Father first. And that I will show Keagan how much he means to me, and this family each and everyday. I will remember that Keagan and I are human. We make mistakes, but that our love is undeniable. That there is no ending our marriage when times get rough. That our goal on this Earth is to learn, grow, raise a family, be charitable, have faith, be sealed in the Temple for time and all eternity, love each other with every fiber of our being, speak only kind words to one another, and then one day we will return to live with our Father in heaven.

One Hundred Things.

My Facebook has been blowing up about all of these "things you might not know about me" post, and to be quite honest, I think it's a pretty awesome idea. I believe that one of the reasons why we are on this beautiful Earth is to get to know people on a personal level. And since our Facebook is supposedly filled with our closest friends, or just plain ole people you like to Facebook-Stalk, why not share some personal things about yourself that other people might not know about you? Yeah, there will be the haters, and the non-conformers, and that's great. Good on em'. But to me, I like the idea. I like reading about other people, and finding out random things about them.

Now, on that note, I've decided that instead of posting them to my Facebook I'd rather dedicate this blog post to some obvious, and not so obvious 100 things about me. Now is 100 things waaay overly excessive? Probably. But I know that I would love to read 100 things about someone else. So, here we go - 

1. A // I wear yoga pants/leggings as pants. And I love it.
1. B// I am the youngest out of 6 kids, and definitely the coolest ;) 

2. Bubble baths save my life, almost, every night. When I'm not excruciatingly tired to make one. If I am I just end up crawling to bed.

3. I could read the Percy Jackson series on repeat. So amazing! It lets me indulge in my Greek mythology love, and has an awesome story line. 

4. I love organizing, and cleaning. When my house is messy.. well, the Mommy Monster might make an appearance. I'm getting better at reigning her in though. Breathing helps.

5. I met Keagan while he was on his mission in San Antonio, Texas.

6. Candles warm my soul. I wish my house was completely engulfed by them. 

7. Besides reading, painting makes me the happiest. I've always used oil paints, but recently started to dabble with acrylics, and have fallen deep in love with them. 

8. I dropped out my Senior Year (12th Grade) of High School, and was just planning on getting my GED, and do something in cosmetology. But was shipped off to Texas to live with my brother, his wife, and 4 kids to regain my life back. It was my own personal military boot camp.  And one of the best things that could of happened.

9. I'm a chill person, and don't really take offence too much. Unless, we are playing Jungle Speed. But that's a different situation entirely. 

10. I have Stage 4 endometriosis, and was told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. But a year after being told that, we found out that I was pregnant with Renner. Despite all the risks, and the hell that I went through with pregnancy, I was able to, somewhat, carry to full term. Renner weighed 7 lbs 2 OZ, and was 3 weeks early. 

11.  I was legally adopted by my brother and sister in law when I was 18. 

12. I am addicted to Captain Crunch.  Sugar cereals are my absolute favorite. 

13. I have lived in 4 different States, and 1 Province.
California (where I was born), Idaho, Montana, Texas.
Alberta - Raymond, Calgary, & Edmonton.

14. My favorite color is turquoise. Actually, all of those bright blues & teals I love. 

15. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a "gamer", but I love Call of Duty. All of those shooting type games are my favorite. Besides Final Fantasy VII. 

16. I fluctuate with different types of music I listen too.

17. Supernatural is my TV obsession. I've been a loyal fan since the 2nd season, and I can't stop. It's amazing. Team Dean all the way! But in all seriousness my favorite shows are Supernatural, Bitten, Arrow, Scandal, Bones, The Walking Dead, Vampire Diaries, Pretty Little Liars, and possibly.. Gossip Girl &  (guilty pleasure).  

18. I'm the type of person who loves to just hang out by myself, and do my own thing.

19. We have a pup named, Roxy. & Titus the Cat,

20. Dr. Pepper is the best drink on this planet. Besides water because you need that to survive. But Dr. Pepper does have water in it, so that counts right? At least that's what Keagan always says. 

21. I did not want to live in Edmonton. It was too far away from my family, and I couldn't think about being away from them. I especially hated the idea of how much snow they get in the winter time. But now I am starting to love it. 

22. I am a huge klutz. 

23. Along with having Endometrosis, I have Pelvic Congestion Syndrome, and Graves' disease. 

24. I am a Mormon. My family are all converts, except for me. I was baptized when I was 8, but my mom and dad never really went to church, or pushed me to go to church. So I fell away for most of my life, but I have regained my testimony, and it's the strongest it's ever been. I love the gospel, and my Heavenly Father. 

25. My dad is my best friend, and my everything. He passed away September 4, 2012. It deeply saddens me that he is gone from this life, but I know with a surety that I will see him again. 

26. I hate snow. That word actually might sound kinder than how I really feel in that statement.

27. I have a hard time not telling people how I feel. I can't sweep things under the rug like some people. It would drive me insane. 

28. Going on walks is one of my favorite things. I would go on a walk every single night if I could. Minus in winter time. Unless I'm living in Texas. 

29. I love smelly sprays! Right now I am loving Victoria's Secret Incredible. 

30. All of the women on my moms side were all forced into being sex slaves. We all hear the word prostitute, and automatically think that it's a job of choice. Sometimes it is, but in most cases it's not. The women in my family for over 100 years were forced into it. My mom stopped it. She wouldn't let my older sister and I go down that path. 

31. With that being said, my amazing sister and her husband started a charity called Child Rescue/Backyard Broadcast which sole purpose is to combat sex trafficking/slavery. It's incredible how common it is in our world today. Even in North America. It's horrible. I encourage you to go check their site out. Get involved! Get sex slavery abolished! There is a link to it over on the left side bar.

32. I love flowers. As, I've gotten old I've learned to appreciate them a lot more.
32a. But for our wedding, I wanted something different. So, instead of my bouquet having flowers, they were all feathers. Ostrich, New Guinea Fowl, Rooster, Peacock, etc.. I loved it so much. 

33. I love doing laundry. I will do it all day, everyday with a huge smile on my face. I just despise cleaning the bathrooms. They gross me out on the highest level. 

34. We are a zombie loving family. Keagan and I are always talking about what we would do if that ever did happen, where we would go, and all that. 

35. I am obsessed with all things makeup. I am picky about some of the smells that certain liquid foundations have, and also, the taste of all lipsticks and lip glosses. But I'm sure that's everyone. Right? Anyways, I love Sephora, MAC, Ulta (but we don't have it in Alberta), and most drugstore brands. I should do a "My Favorites" post so you guys can see what products I love the most.  

36. I love houses with mantels and fireplaces. I also love decorating our mantel. It is heaven. I think they are my favorite things in the home, besides the bathtub and lots of windows. 

37. There isn't a month.. week.. shoot, even day that goes by where I haven't hurt myself or sent to the hospital. It's quite obnoxious how often I break something or get super deathly sick. 

38. I see the positives in situations. I try not to get too stressed, because I know things will always work out. The only thing that really does stress me out is our house not being clean. Which is a horrible reason to stress. I find that when I do stress it just causes contention, and makes me feel irritated. Not a good way to feel. 

39. I love the feeling of clean sheets. It's the best feeling when you are dead tired, and you crawl into bed, and just feel all of the cleanliness and smell the yummy fabric softeners. Even though that might only happen once a week.. Or two. 

40. I love all animals, bugs, and reptiles. Minus spiders. My dad would take us kids out rattlesnake and lizard hunting out in the back deserts of Lancaster. We would always try and find the California King snakes. Those were the winners. 

41. I love the feeling of sand on my feet. Growing up in California I had the amazing priviliege of being able to go to the beach all up the coast near Santa Monica, and it was amazing. The sun and sand.. I miss it. Keagan has never seen the ocean. It's on our bucket list to go on a vacation to a beach somewhere. 

42. I love working on cars. Something about the smell of an oil and gas spilled garage makes me feel like I'm at home. It's the best. 

43. I love muddy colors. I find that turquoises and earthy browns are the prettiest colors to me.

44. I hate wearing socks. It makes me feel super claustrophobic, unless they are fuzzy socks. I also hate folding and matching socks which is why you will see me wearing unmatching ones most of the time. Keagans are pretty hard to mess up. They are all black. Makes my job of washing, folding, and keeping them together a lot easier. 

45. I love old antique shops, and thrift stores. 

46. I wish I had the speaking skills to be a teacher of some sort because I love teaching. 

47. I have a unique sense of humor, and I most definitely think I am funnier than I actually am. 

48. I view myself as being artisty, even though I'm not entirely sure what that means. 

49. I wear yoga pants, and leggings 98% of the week. They are so comfy, and I can wear them with all sorts of styles. But I do love wearing jeans as well. They just aren't as comfy. 

50. I have always been a pretty confident person, except when I was about to get married to Keagan. I was terrifed that something I did would scare him off, or I would do something wrong, and it would all fall apart. But no matter what I threw at him, all he did was pull me closer. And it is through him that I find out everyday what true, deep love really is. Corny, yeah. But true.

51. I am in love with energy drinks.

52. I tend to go back to different blog post, and change them. Why? I don't know. I'm a weird non-perfectionist/perfectionist.

53. I hate wearing socks. They literally make me want to cringe.

54. I get dirty looks when I tell people I got married at 20, and had my first baby at 21. Apparently some people don't have better things to do except judge. Oh well! I love that I got married, and started having babies young. Means I'll get more time with my husband when we are older.

55. I tell people how it is because I think having unresolved feelings just hinder a relationship, and cause hard feelings.

56. I don't get stressed out super easy, but when I have a screaming baby in my arms for a few hours - all bets are off.

57. I love Gerber Daisies, and recently, Orchids. 

58. I've had 6 surgeries. Some serious, some random, and some pointless.

59. There isn't a sound I hate worst than a nail file. I literally burns my entire being.

60. I love getting dressed for church. I hate the waking up part of it (when its at 8:30/9), but I love creating different outfits.

61. I could find a passion in buying lingerie.

62. I love the smell of shoe stores. I could stay in there for hours.

63. I don't think anyone has the type of relationship that Keagan and I have. It's quite unique, and I love it.

64. I love to argue opinions, and have meaningful conversations about others opinions.

65. I don't love ignorant ass-hats who shove their opinions down my throat just to be, ass-hats.

66. If I could be any person in a TV show it would be Donna from Suits. She is my absolute favorite, and hilarious.

67. I love Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate (with 2 creams) & Caramel Apple Danish. I could live off of them.

68. I think buying Keagan ties is one of my favorite things to shop for. He's quite difficult to shop for when it comes to clothes, but ties - I can do.

69. I love going out to eat at nice restaurants.

70. Swirl frosty's with M&M's are the best! I encourage all to try it at least once.

71. I've fallen in love with bread that has grains in it. I've always eaten all white bread my whole life, and now I'm finally starting to eat like a rabbit. My mom is so proud.

72. I Instagram way more than I should.

73. I like writing Family Budgets.

74. I hate following the Family Budgets. I can hear Target calling my name right now...

75. I have terrible eye sight, and when I finally got glasses in my Senior year of High School.. I lost them. And it only took 4 years later to get another pair, and I'm quite in love with them. Hopefully I don't lose these. ...I need contacts.

76. I love having FUN! I'm a bit of a homebody, but secretly, I love going out and dancing like nobody's bidness.

77. Sometimes I pretend like I'm hardcore when I'm driving. Then I turn around and see the cutest little boy looking at me, and smiling. I melt. Hardcore status obliterated.

78. I have way too much gray, and black in my closet.

79. I have always struggled with reading my scriptures. But I'm getting better at it.

80. I know it's a bit cliche, but I have always wanted to go to Paris. It's my dream spot to live, visit, vacation, live.. One day.

81. I'm kind of addicted to buy mirrors. Not in a vain kind of way. But I just love how they look. Especially the old, or awesome frames around it. Maybe I'm just obsessed with the actual frame.

82.  I love Popcorn & Almond M&M's. SO GOOD.

83. My favorite type of purses are the sling across  kind.

84. I'm a Freelance Designer.

85. I HATE dolls. If we ever have a girl, and she wants a baby doll I don't think I will be able to buy it for her.. I am terrified of them. Thank you Chucky.

86. Giraffes are our family animal.

87. I love the idea of going on a road trip. I don't hate the actual tripping part, I just get really claustrophobic and sick feeling from being cramped in a car.

88. I use to always wear my hair straight in high school. But now that my hair is the longest its ever been it's taken to its natural wave. Which I've always thought was ugly - but now I dig it.

89. I loved high school. I hated the actually going, and most of the people, but I loved the learning and I miss it quite a lot.

90. I love bird cages, and birds in general. I find them quite graceful, and beautiful.

91. I can't go to bed without Keagan. I actually find it quite romantic waiting up for him when he has his late night shift, and we go to bed together. It might change as we get older, and I get more tired, but for now it works for us.

92. I love chalkboard paint! I think it's the best invention.

93. I find that Costco polish dogs are in my top favorite foods.

94. I love reading in an actual book. Nothing better than the smell of a new book, and the feel of the pages.

95. I have a problem with losing hair ties. I think I need to buy new ones every month. Its horrible.

96. Although I love the heat of the sun, nothing can compare to the moon, and stars true beauty.

97. I have the memory of a goldfish. If I don't write it down, I will almost always forget.

98. Weeping Willows are my favorite trees.

99. I love being an adult. I find it quite awesome at times. The whole paying bills, and "being" responsible kinda gets in the way sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love getting older.

100. I find it absolutely ridiculous that I actually came up with 100 things about me.  

Some of these are trivial things, but it's what makes me, me. I can't describe all of who I am in a few numbers, but this does give you a little bit of an idea. Humans are complex creatures, and we all have our little quirks and fun facts, but I don't know if we will ever be able to decipher the mind completely. But at least that's what keeps things interesting!

Its Not About The Nail

So today, Keagan and I got into a stupid little fight this morning.

It really was over nothing, but to my sweet little over tired brain it was huge to me.

I was in the "I Deserve" box mind frame, literally on the edge of tears, about to click it to Defcon 1 trying to get Keagan to understand what I was so mad about, and why I needed him to just hear me. But he just wasn't getting it! 

"STOP TRYING TO FIX IT. I just need you to listen, and validate what I'm saying to you!" 

Then very quietly, which is his "Imma bout to blow the freak up" voice, he says to me, 

"Kayla. You need to watch this video with me."

I was beyond irritated that he could be so calm, when I am most definitely NOT calm, and just all of a sudden change the subject on me that I replied, 

"NO Keagan. I don't want to watch a stupid video right now." 

But he, ever so annoyingly sweetly, insisted. 

I heaved a big sigh, slumped to the floor in defeat, and he handed me his phone to watch this video |

It's Not About the Nail from Jason Headley on Vimeo.

Needless to say I felt completely lame.

Of course he validates my needs, and loves me to the fullest.

Some days, I'm just a spaz, and completely in the right irrational.

Sometimes, I really do need to just listen to him as well, and let him take out the nail.

Mostly so my sweaters won't get snagged on it.

So yeah guys, we still like him. 

Needless, to say though, our fight was resolved.

By lots and lots of kissing. Obviously.

Whaaaat?! We're married with a new baby! Give us a break.

;)

Goals. Goals. Goals.

I have never been one to set goals, much less complete the little ones I actually do set. It's always been a huge fault of mine. Maybe fault is the wrong word, but its definitely a big shortcoming of mine. And I say that with the utmost honesty. But ever since we have had Renner I have felt a switch click on. Kind of feels like an electric surge through my body. I've felt more motivated, and confident in completing the tasks and challenges that have been placed in front of me.

So continuing with that frame of mind, and picturing me really never completing an important goal, minus graduating High School and Seminary, imagine my surprise when I was overwhelmed with this extremely strong prompting to complete a very important goal. That goal was to completely finish the Book of Mormon from start to finish. (For those who have no idea what that is, or have heard of it, and might not think its worth your time, I promise you it is.I encourage you to click the link, and find the truth for yourself.)

I have read the BOM plenty of times, even went through it for seminary, but never have I sat down and really read or studied what I was reading. I'm barely making it out of 1st Nephi now, and I can see the difference in my life. I have felt more at peace, more loving, and even feeling stronger in my testimony. There is more of a light in my life. I have lived without this light for so long in my life, and only had a brief experience with it when I was younger, and while living in Texas. But now its a different feeling. Being married to Keagan has been an incredible change, and has brought so much happiness in my life I can't even begin to describe, and having Renner has made it even more blissful.

When we found out my Dad was sick with cancer, and maybe only had a few months left I felt like someone just punched me in the gut. So I did what a lot of people do in troubling times; I clung to the scriptures like they were my life raft. Then after he died I dwindled away from them. Read them only when necessary, or just at church. Never just for me, or for my family. My guess is because I was never brought up with the thought that they are there for you to read at anytime. To either receive personal revelation, help keep you afloat with difficult times, keep you feeling strong, or just make your life brighter. Ever since I made it a personal goal of mine to read and study them its made me happier. Not that I'm an unhappy person, but it just makes everything around me feel lighter, and feel closer to my Heavenly Father.

Growing up I was clueless to a lot all of the basic stories of the Book of Mormon, and even a lot of the Bible stories that most people know. So while making it my goal to read it, and not just skim it, I'm going to really study, and focus on what is being said, and pray when I am struggling - Or just ask my amazingly, sexy husband. But the thing is I'm not just doing it though for my own knowledge and spirituality, although that is a huge part of it, I'm mostly doing it for my family. They deserve it. Leaving it at that, let me share my favorite scripture: Moroni 10. It brings me a sense of hope, and reverence.

All Hallows Eve.

Like I said in my last post, I love Halloween. Not sure why, but it gives me great joy in dressing up and running around getting yummy treats. Here are just some cute photos of this years craziness. 

I don't have my mantel back yet from the TV plague, but I have vowed to have it back by Christmas.

 I love these awesome crows. Found at the dollar store no less. The jars I have had around my house that were from various pasta, pickles, and hot fudge sundae jars. Also, the super rad labels can be found on my Pinterest.

 Found this beautiful glass skull at Target. We finally got Targets in Canada YAY! I'm pretty excited about it. Anyways, the skull is filled with margarita mix stuff. I just loved the color is was rocking. Turned into Dragons Blood.

 Bottled in Bulgaria - Harry Potter reference anyone?

Our Superbaby.

We went as Lois Lane & Clark Kent.

Sorry for the terrible photos. I had to sell my pride and joy Nikon D5100 a few months ago. We are in the process of getting a new one. But for now my blurry iPhone photos will do.