Its Not About The Nail

11 Nov 2013

So today, Keagan and I got into a stupid little fight this morning.
It really was over nothing, but to my sweet little over tired brain it was huge to me.

I was in the "I Deserve" box mind frame, literally on the edge of tears, about to click it to Defcon 1 trying to get Keagan to understand what I was so mad about, and why I needed him to just hear me. But he just wasn't getting it! 

"STOP TRYING TO FIX IT. I just need you to listen, and validate what I'm saying to you!" 

Then very quietly, which is his "Imma bout to blow the freak up" voice, he says to me, 

"Kayla. You need to watch this video with me."

I was beyond irritated that he could be so calm, when I am most definitely NOT calm, and just all of a sudden change the subject on me that I replied, 

"NO Keagan. I don't want to watch a stupid video right now." 

But he, ever so annoyingly sweetly, insisted. 
I heaved a big sigh, slumped to the floor in defeat, and he handed me his phone to watch this video |



It's Not About the Nail from Jason Headley on Vimeo.


Needless to say I felt completely lame.
Of course he validates my needs, and loves me to the fullest.
Some days, I'm just a spaz, and completely in the right irrational.
Sometimes, I really do need to just listen to him as well, and let him take out the nail.
Mostly so my sweaters won't get snagged on it.

So yeah guys, we still like him. 
Needless, to say though, our fight was resolved.
By lots and lots of kissing. Obviously.
Whaaaat?! We're married with a new baby! Give us a break.
;)

Goals. Goals. Goals.

6 Nov 2013

I have never been one to set goals, much less complete the little ones I actually do set. It's always been a huge fault of mine. Maybe fault is the wrong word, but its definitely a big shortcoming of mine. And I say that with the utmost honesty. But ever since we have had Renner I have felt a switch click on. Kind of feels like an electric surge through my body. I've felt more motivated, and confident in completing the tasks and challenges that have been placed in front of me.

So continuing with that frame of mind, and picturing me really never completing an important goal, minus graduating High School and Seminary, imagine my surprise when I was overwhelmed with this extremely strong prompting to complete a very important goal. That goal was to completely finish the Book of Mormon from start to finish. (For those who have no idea what that is, or have heard of it, and might not think its worth your time, I promise you it is.I encourage you to click the link, and find the truth for yourself.)

I have read the BOM plenty of times, even went through it for seminary, but never have I sat down and really read or studied what I was reading. I'm barely making it out of 1st Nephi now, and I can see the difference in my life. I have felt more at peace, more loving, and even feeling stronger in my testimony. There is more of a light in my life. I have lived without this light for so long in my life, and only had a brief experience with it when I was younger, and while living in Texas. But now its a different feeling. Being married to Keagan has been an incredible change, and has brought so much happiness in my life I can't even begin to describe, and having Renner has made it even more blissful.

When we found out my Dad was sick with cancer, and maybe only had a few months left I felt like someone just punched me in the gut. So I did what a lot of people do in troubling times; I clung to the scriptures like they were my life raft. Then after he died I dwindled away from them. Read them only when necessary, or just at church. Never just for me, or for my family. My guess is because I was never brought up with the thought that they are there for you to read at anytime. To either receive personal revelation, help keep you afloat with difficult times, keep you feeling strong, or just make your life brighter. Ever since I made it a personal goal of mine to read and study them its made me happier. Not that I'm an unhappy person, but it just makes everything around me feel lighter, and feel closer to my Heavenly Father.

Growing up I was clueless to a lot all of the basic stories of the Book of Mormon, and even a lot of the Bible stories that most people know. So while making it my goal to read it, and not just skim it, I'm going to really study, and focus on what is being said, and pray when I am struggling - Or just ask my amazingly, sexy husband. But the thing is I'm not just doing it though for my own knowledge and spirituality, although that is a huge part of it, I'm mostly doing it for my family. They deserve it. Leaving it at that, let me share my favorite scripture: Moroni 10. It brings me a sense of hope, and reverence.

All Hallows Eve.

Like I said in my last post, I love Halloween. Not sure why, but it gives me great joy in dressing up and running around getting yummy treats. Here are just some cute photos of this years craziness. 
I don't have my mantel back yet from the TV plague, but I have vowed to have it back by Christmas.

 I love these awesome crows. Found at the dollar store no less. The jars I have had around my house that were from various pasta, pickles, and hot fudge sundae jars. Also, the super rad labels can be found on my Pinterest.


 Found this beautiful glass skull at Target. We finally got Targets in Canada YAY! I'm pretty excited about it. Anyways, the skull is filled with margarita mix stuff. I just loved the color is was rocking. Turned into Dragons Blood.

 Bottled in Bulgaria - Harry Potter reference anyone?
Our Superbaby.
We went as Lois Lane & Clark Kent.
Sorry for the terrible photos. I had to sell my pride and joy Nikon D5100 a few months ago. We are in the process of getting a new one. But for now my blurry iPhone photos will do.


So Many Issues.

29 Oct 2013

My Blogger has had so many issues. Hence the whole not posting anything for a while. Turns out the posts I thought I had already written, and supposedly "posted" from my phone, in fact didn't. Uggh. So frustrating. Now I'm on the regular site hoping this post actually goes through! Fast forward a few months a lot has happened.

Renner is now 8 months old, and starting to actually crawl. It's quite sad. He is inch worming around, but still up and moving like crazy. I've started baby proofing, which is different, and kind of crazy how much he can get into. Like the other day I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day, and he's out in the living room talking away to himself, then silence. Uhhh.. So I go out to check on him and the punk is riffling through my purse holding up my wallet and a lip gloss haha. I just laughed and swooped it all up. As cute as he is his mothers son. Which pretty much just mean he is crazy, and loud. He doesn't laugh as much, so I figure that part he gets from my Dad, but he does yell at me. Especially when I'm not paying attention. So pretty much when I'm trying to clean, and do laundry. He still isn't sleeping through the night all the way, but at least he's sleeping in his own room. That's a big step. And it's not like we haven't tried leaving him alone, and not rush in with a bottle. We've tried not giving in at 2 AM or 4 AM and give him one, but the kid won't stop crying. Such a stubborn kid, and he isn't even a year old yet! Ugh. He does, however, absolutely LOVE taking baths. Haven't yet taken him swimming, but that is on my to-do list.

Roxy has gotten more comfortable with him, which is nice. She lets him do whatever, and moves away from him when she has had enough. I will say that he loves his Daddy. Hardly ever snuggles with me anymore, but will cling to his dad. Kind of like, "Mom I see you all day long, and you take all the cool toys away from me, and I never see Dad and he gives me chocolate. Sorry. But you are the weakest link. Goodbye." Waaaah! Haha. It's sad how I would get stressed about him always wanting to be on me, and now all I want to do is hold him.

Now on to some more exciting things happening around the Paisley household! Keagan has taken a new job working as a department manager at Lowes. He loves it, and it's glorious because we get paid a bit more, plus he actually gets almost all Sunday's off so we can go to church together. Yay! But I think he wants to do something more. Possibly go back to school. Which if he did it would be awesome. Hard, and we would probably never see him if he went down the path he is thinking of doing, but it would be worth it. We still are trying to figure out all of my immigration stuff, so that's been riveting, as always. I was also suppose to get surgery for my endometriosis, but as I was literally in the OR they canceled it on me because my thyroid levels were in the danger zone. But when I went to visit my endocrinologist apparently my thyroid level is getting back on track. So turns out I could of had my surgery all along! We have lived without a car for the past 3 months. Which was fun, and a different experience, but it was summer and we could hang with that. Ren and I could stroll down to the Safeway by our house and pick up some groceries, no biggie. So with winter creeping up very quickly Keagans parents were so kind enough to let us borrow one of their vehicles until spring, or until we finally get a new car. Such a blessing! And when I say winter is creeping up quickly I mean it snowed on Sunday, melted, but the cold winds are becoming harsher. Ugh. What will we do all winter long beats me. I despise the cold, but I love the man who brought me to it. So it's a bittersweet kind of relationship. I have started painting again, which makes me happy. It's mostly when Keagan has his late shifts, and Ren is sleeping. But it refreshes and rejuvenates me.

On another note, All Hallows' Eve is among us, more like in 2 days, and I am so excited! I love Halloween! And finally having our own house to actually decorate has been so much fun! I love it. (K I'm done with the "I love it's", but seriously I do). Plus it's Renner's first Halloween, and the only costume we have for him is a monkey. We were also considering a zombie, but the thought of him rubbing face paint in his eyes creeps me out. So we will probably go for something more simple. Not that we will be taking him trick or treating. Possibly, but we most likely will just dress him up, take a few photos, then head over to a friends to hang out. Sounds like a good night to me! Then next will be Christmas decorating. I will say its weird having Thanksgiving before Halloween. It has me all turned around. Now I have a strange desire to start decorating for that yummy holiday.

Well if any of you awesome bloggers or just sweet people have advice on how to get an 8 month old to sleep through the night I'm all ears!

Renner's new Dragosaur beanie! He loves it. 
My "almost" surgery before it got canceled.. So lame. 
His new Moose "snow suit" onesie. 
When I say Renner loves his baths, I really mean it. He sits here while his bath is being filled up, and shoves his face under the facet and laughs hysterically. So cute. 
Roxy getting in the Halloween spirit. 
My little squish. 
Tackle Dad! 
He also loves the park. Mostly the swing though.