Okay everyone! It has been a while since I’ve posted anything so I thought I do some baby talk! No I am sad to report that, I am not pregnant yet. But I will say that Keagan, my adorable, amazing husband, is constantly making fun of me and my seemingly never ending thoughts of being pregnant, and going through at least couple pregnancies tests every month. I will say that I can’t hide the fact that I am incredibly excited for that to happen! Although I’ll admit I might be going a tad bit over board with the fact that I have Baby Fever like crazy, but I can’t help it! My amazing sister has shown me some cute blogs about some woman being "addicted" to pregnancy test, and I will say I can TOTALLY relate. Its hilarious to read these woman sneak into Dollar Tree and grab 1 or 12 test every other week. Now I'm not that extreme, probably because we are poor newly weds, BUT I can't say that if we had extra money I wouldn't give into this crazy pregnancy phenomenon.. But I guarantee that Keagan would stop me haha. He was making a joke a few months back about him wondering since Costco has everything in bulk, if they have a bulk thing of pregnancy test. Every since I've been wishing we had a Costco card so I could go scope out that place and see!

I will say that I perfectly content with just me and my hubby. It is such an amazing thing to sleep next to the love of your life/best friend every night! I can't believe it's even legal! I love it!

I've mentioned in one of my post about me having endometriosis, but surprisingly not a lot of  people really know about it. The downside with having endometriosis, and being pregnant isn’t one of the greatest things I've heard about. My doctor told me that if I ever did choose to have a baby, that my open window to become pregnant is about 2 years, or otherwise I’d become infertile, and that if I did become pregnant that I would either be in the hospital the entire 9 months, or I’d be bedridden. Which I don’t believe for a second, but to be on the safe side, we were going to try and get pregnant this summer… if I’m not already! 

I have done a lot of research as to what would happen if I did get pregnant though. There are some woman who said that they were hurting so bad that they were hospitalized for the entire 9 months, others say it went fine and they’re endo cleared up for the whole pregnancy, but then came back twice as strong a month or two after giving birth, but then a lot of others say being pregnant was the best thing for their endo. So as you can tell there are a lot of different outcomes that could come from it. Now for those of you who don’t know what endometriosis this is the definition from endometriosisinfo.ca:

“Endometriosis is a common and sometimes debilitating condition experienced by women of reproductive age. This disease causes chronic pelvic pain and is sometimes associated with infertility.

Endometriosis is the growth of tissue, similar to the kind that lines a woman's uterus, elsewhere in her body. That 'elsewhere' is usually in the abdomen. This misplaced tissue responds to the menstrual cycle in the same way that the tissue lining the uterus does: each month the tissue builds up, breaks down and sheds. Menstrual blood from the uterus flows out of the body through the vagina; however, the blood and tissue from endometriosis has no way of leaving the body. This results in inflammation and sometimes scarring (adhesions), both of which can cause the painful symptoms of endometriosis and may contribute to difficulty getting pregnant.

Even though endometriosis has been researched extensively, it is a complex disease that can be challenging to diagnose and treat. Many symptoms of endometriosis – severe, painful menstrual cramps, painful intercourse, and gastrointestinal upsets such as diarrhea, constipation, and nausea – are similar to those for a wide variety of other conditions. As well, each woman with endometriosis will experience symptoms differently, depending on the location and extent of her endometriosis. This means that the combination of treatment options that work for one woman may not necessarily work for another. That's why it may take years for a woman and her health-care professional to identify the extent of her endometriosis and find an effective treatment.”

It is a scary and annoying disease that is FOR SURE, but at least I know there is help. So now that you have the basics about it, you can see a little bit of the worry I have. There is a high chance that I could miscarry, or have a premature birth, so I have to look at the risk that could come for the baby, and for me. I’m not so worried about the pain during the pregnancy, as much as the pain afterward because not being able to take care of my baby after carrying him/her for 9 months, honestly breaks my heart. The good thing about all of this though, is that I have an amazing husband who takes care of me so incredibly. He really is the most compassionate, caring, and loving person I have ever met, and puts up with all my crabbiness when I am having my pains. AH! I could talk about him all day he is so awesome! But anyways! The one thing I am glad about though is that I am around family 24/7 who would do anything for us, and that to me is the biggest blessing ever, and makes me feel a bit more secure. 

Even though I might have to go through all of this nonsense about pain and such, I want to have a baby! It is my all time DREAM to have little ones with my amazingly hot husband. And I will make it happen for sure! But seriously, if any woman who read the symptoms and signs of Endometriosis, I highly recommend you get it checked out. Only because the longer you postpone it, the more likely that the endo will become so severe that you do indeed become infertile, and that is the most heart breaking thing I could think of with having this disease. So take a look at this amazing site and do some research if you think that your cramps, might be a little bit more severe than they should be. 

Anyways, in a couple months I hope to be reporting that I am healthy and pregnant! Here is a link that you can go to and watch a video about Endometriosis. Watch it and become aware! :)

Safe and Sound.

Sex Trafficking - Sexual slavery or forced sexual slavery is the organized coercion of unwilling people into different sexual practices ;  the recruitment, transportation (within national or across international borders), transfer, harboring, or receipt of persons for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation.

 

Yesterday, when Keagan came home from school he was telling me about his Speech class and how everyone had to get up tell a story about something that had happened to them in their life. One of the stories that a lady told was about her getting on the wrong bus with her daughter. It was suppose to go to New York, but ended up going downtown, in a rather shady part, of Philadelphia. The lady went on with her story, and said that when she got off the bus to find a different route to New York, there was a little girl standing on the corner. "She couldn't of been more than 10 years old." She said, "all I could think about was how that young lady should smarten up, and get off the streets, she's way to young to be selling herself." She then thought nothing else of the girl. Except when she told that story to her class.

*On a side note: Keagan corrected me. He said that the girl wasn't standing alone. She was supposedly getting a "pep talk" from her Pimp.



Honestly, when he told me that, it made me sick to my stomach to think about that little girl standing out. It broke my heart to think of that mother having such thoughts about that little girl. It just makes me think of my nieces who are around 10, and them standing out on the corner like that. Then again, why would she think that the little girl was kidnapped and forced to stand there? It pains me to hear the naivety some people have about our world. In the United States it is estimated that 50-75,000 victims are trafficked into America for sexual servitude. That isn't even including the 100,000-300,000 American children forced into prostitution around the states. Children and women ranging from all ages, 5-18 years old, kidnapped and forced into street-based prostitution, escort services, strip clubs, and even brothels. It breaks my heart to even begin to think of how horrible it would be to have your daughter or son taken from you, and put into that life.  

 Human trafficking is the second highest profitable organized crime in the world, where drugs is the first. It makes billions of dollars each year. A human trafficker, or Pimp, can earn 20 times what he or she paid for a girl, if the girl was not physically brutalized to the point of ruining her beauty. Then the pimp could sell her again for a greater price because he had trained her and broken her spirit, because it saves the future buyers the hassle. In Canada, it's said that "2200 men, women, and children, are trafficked into America from Canada every year. Canada is considered a source, transit, and destination country for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of prostitution and forced labor."  

My sister, Stephanie, and brother-in-law, Jess (and yes, I do mention them a lot because they are amazing people) have started an organization called, Child Rescue. Child Rescue is a non-profit organization that is in Canada, and the United States whose purpose is to rescue the woman and children from all of the horrors that come with human trafficking. 

 Not really realizing it until the past couple years, but my mother’s side of my family dealt a lot with sex trafficking. My grandma, great grandma, great-great grandma, and so on, were all subjected to that life. I mean, I've always known that they were prostitutes, and to me it always made my family history more interesting. Now to really go in depth about it all, and to hear only a few horror stories, but to not even begin to scratch the surface about what really happened 4 generations ago when it all first got started; it just makes me feel so blessed that my mom got out of it, and saved us kids from the worst of it. Even though she struggles with her past, she deals with it the best way she can. I remember when I was little, and my grandma would have me try to walk with a book on top of my head to "perfect" how I walked and held my posture. She told me that her mother would make her walk around like that when she was my age all the time, and if she dropped it she got whipped. She was trained to be a high class escort since the day she was born. I loved my grandma incredibly so, and sadly she passed away this past Christmas, but let me tell you she was quite the interesting woman. My grandma wasn't a saint though. She did do a lot of bad things in her life, but a lot of good also. She just didn't really know how to a mom, or how to do anything else except what she was taught by her mom. She survived in the only way she knew how, and that was fend for herself.

One of the problems with sex trafficking is that you aren't going to get a girl to come up to you and tell you that she is in trouble and needs your help. In the beginning I wrote, and underlined that they "train" and "break their spirits", which is exactly what they do. These girls have been beaten, and bruised to the point where they are afraid to even think about running away. They have been threatened. Their families have been threatened. So they stay, and live the life that has been chosen for them. Human and sex trafficking is everywhere, and most people just don't realize it. It's happening here in my city, and it probably happening in yours as well. One of the problems in our society are people who are obsessed with technology (cell phones, laptops, etc.), or so into their own life they can't see what is going on around them. I watched a Child Rescue video a while ago that my sister-in-law, Keshia, told a story about an anonymous tip to the police about mattresses being delivered to a nail salon, and it seemed a bit sketchy. So what happened? The police investigated, and found all of these women chained to the wall and drugged in the back of this nail salon.

Stephanie , told me a story about their friend Natasha Herzig (which you can just click on her name to hear her entire story from her) who was an all American girl. She was a cheerleader, on the principal's list, did beauty pageants, and did missionary work for kids in Jamaica. Natasha wanted to see the world. One day when she was walking around the mall a lady came up to her and told her she had nice make-up and said if she was interested in a career in make-up to give her a call. Handed her a card and walked away. 
A few days later she called the woman, and scheduled an interview. She went to a fancy office building that looked legitimate. It had all the fanciness to it that you would expect; the girls walking around in all black, the receptionist, everything. They had her filled out paperwork, and had her "try out" for the job by applying make-up to one of the girls. She talked to a few of the girls about the job and what it was like. They said that they loved it! They all stayed at a house together, they got to travel, and do make-up! I mean what girl wouldn't love that!
She then talked to the manager, who said that a lot of other girls were applying for the job, so they would call her if she got it. A few weeks went by and they finally called her and said she got the job. They told her to pack a bag because she was going to be gone for a few days. She met them at a restaurant they had told her to go to, and she said that she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. She tried to ditch them by saying she wanted to get her sweater from her car, and she'll be right back. Then next thing she knew they had her in the back of their van. 

Her story is incredible, and I encourage all who read this to watch her video.

 It saddens me to hear people talk about prostitutes in a bad light. The majority of those women were not put there by choice, like Natasha. This is an ongoing battle in all of our countries, and it has to stop. Here is a link to Child Rescue where you can watch some other videos that will help you become aware of sex slavery, and what to do when you notice it happening. Thank you so much to everyone who reads this post, as it hits really close to home. My hope and prayer is that you do become more aware in your community and you feel empowered to get involved!

Song for the mood --
[Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift Feat. The Civil Wars]

Swagger Wagon.

The last blog I posted was pretty intense and detailed aspect of my mind. So, this next one, I promise is pure uplifting and fun.

 Keagan and I have been contemplating on our next vehicle choice for when we start popping out babies. We’ve been looking at literally everything, from a car, to SUV, to even a minivan. Now, I drove a minivan all through high school. I love them as much as the next person. . Who drove a minivan to high school. . So, I think I want something different. Right now we are driving a two door Toyota Celica, which I’ll admit is an amazing machine, but I just can picture putting a car seat into the back of that car. It just makes me cringe. Even though minivans are roomy, and cozy -- I just can't bare to have another again in the second half of my life.

But honestly watching this video, is making me contemplate having one again.

 

Almost making me contemplate.

What vehicle do you think the Paisley’s should upgrade too?

New Year.

Forewarning. This blog report is quite long. 

Please Be Advised. 

George Albert Smith.

What an incredible individual this man was. We were given a lesson this past Sunday that hit me like a stack of bricks. It was the first lesson of the G.A.S. Manual, and for those who haven’t read it, I highly recommend you do. And for the folks who have no idea what I’m talking about, chill. I’ll explain. 

Basically, it was about “Living What We Believe”, which is ironically what the title was called, whatdoyah know. It talks about how when George was 34 years old, he created a list of resolutions. (Which I think is perfect that we were being taught this lesson in the beginning of the New Year.) He titled the list, his “Personal Creed”-

1.  “I would be a friend to the friendless, and find joy in ministering for faith to be healed.”

2.  “I would visit the sick and afflicted and inspire in them a desire for faith to be healed.”

3. “I would teach the truth to the understanding and blessing of all mankind.”

4. “I would seek out the erring one and try to win him back to a righteous and happy life.”

5. “I would not seek to force people to live up to my ideals but rather love them into doing the thing that is right.”  (Which I must say, this is one of my favorites.)

6. “I would live with the masses and help to solve their problems that their earth life may be happy.”

7.  “I would avoid the publicity of high positions and discourage the flattery of thoughtless friends.”

8. “I would not knowingly wound the feelings of any, not even one who may have wronged me, but would seek to do him good and make him my friend.”

9. I would overcome the tendency to selfishness and jealously and rejoice in the successes of all the children of my Heavenly Father.”

10.        “I would not be an enemy to any living soul.”

I don’t know about any of you guys. . . But I felt like absolute crap after reading this. I know that I can be a good person, and say the right things. But is my heart in the right place when I do or say such things? 

A company that my sister, Stephanie, and her husband have fallen in love with is called, The Arbinger Institute. Basically, the main frame of their thinking is being “Out-Of-The-Box”, which means, they are trying to make people see others and themselves, situations, and problems differently. So, I couldn’t help but consider their main ideas and compare it to the George Albert Smith’s,“Personal Creed”. 

A lot of us are probably thinking, well I can’t always help others. I have myself and my family to think about. Oh, of course. By all means, I am far from the “perfect” saint, who feeds the poor, and clothes the naked. I try and do my part as a good citizen of society, but frankly I kind of suck at it sometimes. But here’s where that “Out-Of-The-Box” thinking comes in.

For people that don’t know this, I’ll let you in on a little secret. There are (4)common boxes that everyone “carries” in their lifetime, or even maybe all the time. Who knows. What I do know is that I have definitely been a carrier. Those (4) Boxes are known as simply:

1.  The “Worse-Than” Box

2.  The “Better-Than” Box

3. The “Must Be Seen As” Box

4. The “I Deserve” Box

Now, you are probably putting the pieces together because I know y’all are smart, but why do you think these boxes have any reason to be associated with the great George Albert Smith’s creed? Well, I’m going to go over a few of his creed notions, and tell you how learning about it has got me thinking about when I have been inside the box, how I think about the creed to help get myself out of it.

Well, let’s start with the first couple creed notions.

1.  “I would be a friend to the friendless, and find joy in ministering for faith to be healed.”

2.  “I would visit the sick and afflicted and inspire in them a desire for faith to be healed.”

If you were thinking “Inside the Box”, you could honestly have either one of the 4. But let’s go with. . . The “Worse-Than” box. That’s something that I would totally do. I have been awesomely diagnosed with Endometriosis. It’s not fatal or life threatening, or any of that mumbo jumbo. It just causes a good amount of pain to my ovaries and legs once in a while, and then goes away for a while, and then rejoins me. So with me saying that, I can easily say that I am in “way to much pain to go help my friend who is sick with the flu, and has two kids, because well I’m just way sicker than her.” Wow. Kind of a rude thing to say, huh? But let’s face it. Everyone has those days, right?

Ezra Taft Benson told a story about George Albert Smith, who did indeed “visit the sick and afflicted and inspire in them a desire for a faith to be healed”. He said, “I shall never cease to be grateful for the visits he made to my home while I was (away) serving as a humble missionary. . . . Particularly I am thankful for a visit in the still of the night when our little one lay at death’s door. Without any announcement, President Smith found time to come into that home and place his hands upon the head of that little one, held in her mother’s arms as she had been for many hours, and promise her complete recovery. This was President Smith, he always had time to help, particularly those who were sick, those who needed him most.” 

What an incredible man right? For him to just pop over to Ezra Taft Benson’s house, without even bother telling people he was coming, and give his daughter a blessing. That could have been a total inconvience on President Smith, or his family, but did he show any concern about himself? No, not at all. All he was worried about was this little girl, and the mother watching her daughter waste away from this terrible illness.

Now, what would of happened if George Albert Smith would have been in the “Worse-Than” box? He probably wouldn’t of gone over and helped her at all. 

In the “Worse-Than” box, I tend to find myself just thinking about well, myself. Like I said before with my friend who had the flu and two kids; I was hurting quite badly that day, I still haven’t done a thing around the house because I’ve been in bed, she will for surely be better by tomorrow, and if I go over there now I’ll just end up hurting myself more in the long run, and, and. . Oh come on. Give me a break. Someone please slap me already! That is called, J U S T I F C A T I O N, my friend. 

Take a good look at what it looks like folks, because it is not getting any prettier. How do I get myself out of this crazy justification mess!? 

Well for one, I myself pray. I pray to Heavenly Father to give me strength to help a friend in need. I pray that he will bless her that she may be able to heal from this terrible illness that has fallen upon her. I pray that me going over there will provide her with comfort and love. Of course, I’m not completely out of pain by the time my prayer is done. What I do feel is just the right amount strength to go over and see her. I feel that I will help her with just stopping by and saying hello, and helping her with what she needs done. 

Moroni 7:45 & 47 “And charity suffereth long, and is kind and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seekth not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in inquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

“But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”

On to our next phase! Here are the next (2) of George Albert Smith’s personal creed:

4.   “I would seek out the erring one and try to win him back to a righteous and happy life.”

5. “I would not seek to force people to live up to my ideals but rather love them into doing the thing that is right.” 

I have always had a struggle with the church, and for that have fallen away for the majority of my life. I cannot tell you what a box I created with people who looked down on me because of what I was doing. Granted I was doing wrong, but come on people. Like you’ve never made a mistake in your ENTIRE life?! Well, because of those good doer’s, I created the “Better-Than” box. I mean how dare them! Trying to make me to be a great Mormon when they can’t even get their coffee drinking under control! The nerve of some people’s kids I swear. 

Alright, alright. My thinking was a tad bit over board. But at the time I was totally justified to think that way because well, “I’m “Better-Than” them.” At least I wasn’t drinking coffee, or doing whatever else they were doing. I was making my own mistakes. I was following my own trail of destruction. 

I was definitely blessed when a little help came into my life. Now, because of my, awesome “Better-Than” behavior, I was “transferred” to San Antonio, Texas, where my brother, Chris, and sister-in-law, Becky, live. Becky and Chris play(ed) a huge role in my life. I tear up when I say that because they really did. Those two loved me like there was no tomorrow, and it freaked me out. 

They were tough on me don’t get me wrong, but I needed that tough love. Now what was awesome about them was that, they never “forced” me to do anything, unless I did something stupid and they grounded me – which frequently happened. They would give me the tools I needed, say the right thing, and hoped I picked the right answer. Well, what I forgot to mention was they also have (4) kids they are raising also. They could of easily said they couldn’t take me, because they already have to take care of their (4) kids! Why on Earth would they want to have another one, who is almost 18, and screwing up her life? But they didn’t. Not only did they allow me into their home, but made me apart of their family. They taught me what Christ love is all about, and how the Atonement works.

After a while of going to church, mutual, and all other sorts of church activities, I started to realize that, I’m not better than anyone. They are all just like me. They deal with the same outer worldly problems that I do. They have family problems. They struggle with the gospel. They are all human; like me. 

Alma 34:31: “Yea, I would that ye would come forth and harder not your hearts any longer; for behold, now is the time and the day of your salvation..”

Moving on to my absolute LEAST favorite part of this creed:

7.  “I would avoid the publicity of high positions and discourage the flattery of thoughtless friends.”

SO MANY  countless times I have said that someone has looked nice, or they did a really good job on something. But looking back have I just said those things to make me look good, or make them feel good? That’s the twister part of it, and where the “I Must Be Seen As” box comes in. When I carry this box, I usually don’t show the fact that I’m resenting something about someone. I am a really nice person. I love talking to people, and making them feel good about themselves. I know it makes me feel better when someone compliments me on something I’m wearing, or something I taught, or even something I said. So, of course I absolutely LOVE to do the same thing back to people. But when I look deeper into it, am I just saying those things because I want people to still think of me as a nice person, and that they expect me to say that? Or do I truly, and honestly mean it? If I were to go into the psychological part of it, I would say a bit of both. I do love making people feel better, and I want to be known as a nice person. 

This box I have always had a hard time understanding because the “Must Be Seen As” box can mean so many things. It could be that you work at a fancy company, so you have to drive a sports car. It could be you’re a skater, so you have to shop at PacSun or Zumiez. It could mean an endless amount of things. So now the question is how do I make my compliments only about them, and not consider myself in the picture? Well, it’s easy! I don’t just dish out compliments anymore. I really think about what exactly I’m complimenting that person on, and why I think they need to hear it.

This last one is my favorite, but also one of the hardest parts in this post that I have struggled with:

8. “I would not knowingly wound the feelings of any, not even one who may have wronged me, but would seek to do him good and make him my friend.”

9. “I would overcome the tendency to selfishness and jealously and rejoice in the successes of all the children of my Heavenly Father.”

10.        “I would not be an enemy to any living soul.”

I will say that I am a nice person, but don’t get me wrong I’m not THE nicest person. I have my downfalls. Especially, when it comes to people hurting my loved ones, or even myself. I cannot handle people who hurt my family for kicks, or who just are having a bad day, or just because they simply can get away with it. That “I Deserve” box is looking pretty friendly right about now. I know that “I Deserve” not be treated that way, nor my family. “I Deserve” to have the right to kick their teeth in. “I Deserve” to grace them with the attitude that they bestowed upon me. “I Deserve” to not show them any kindness in the world, because they have no kindness in their heart. 

So, let’s take a step back and think about a story that Spencer W. Kimball told about George Albert Smith that “demonstrated his conviction to do good”. He said, “It was reported to (President Smith) that someone had stolen from his buggy, the buggy robe. Instead of being angry, he re­sponded: ‘I wish we knew who it was, so that we could give him the blanket also, for he must have been cold; and some food also, for he must have been hungry.”

What a great person it takes to be able to think about the man who just stolen something from you, and only be concerned about him. In Luke 5:35 & 36 it tell of Jesus saying, “But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest; for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.” – “Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.”

There are times that people make me so upset that all I can think about is wanting to punch their face. But what am I spiritually gaining from acting like that? Nothing. I’m not making my Heavenly Father proud. I’m not helping my family heal. I’m not helping myself heal. All I’m doing is damaging myself, and the opportunity for the Holy Ghost to be with me. That doesn’t help anyone. Not the person who hurt me. Not my family. Not me. No one. So what good does it do to feel such hateful feelings towards someone? It doesn’t do any good to myself at all. I’m becoming an enemy to God. I’m trying to “knowingly wound the feelings” of the person who harmed me. And why? So I can eat out of the revenge dish? No thank you. 

This one is the hardest for me because I am fiercely protective over my family. I know though that the person, who did the damage, is almost a part of my family. Not my immediate Earthly family, but they are a son/daughter of Heavenly Father.

Mosiah 3:19 - “For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

So as you can see I have been accompanied many times with the (4) boxes. But I always try to put my faith in Heavenly Father first to help me see how I am wrong, and how to help me find the knowledge to fix it. I’m far from perfect, but I hope this year I can try to live up to George Albert Smith’s creed, and in doing so become a better wife, sister, daughter, friend, and a be better citizen in my community.