I'm walking along alone, doing my thang in Superstore today with a half sick baby that has a death grip on my caridigan, and his paci while I'm pushing the cart. (Now going grocery shopping with an 11 month old baby is sometimes a task, going shopping with a sick 11 month old baby.. Shoot me now. But I figured he's doing okay, and we need food, and we both needed out of the house.) So I go to reach for something, and that causes that little chunk in Ren's hand to come out. As if on cue he started screaming. So I quickly grabbed that item, threw it in the cart, and shove that little section in Renner's hand. We did that a few times, but one particular time he didn't stop crying. I'm assuming because he finally got pissed at me constantly taking it out of his hands. So I speed walk all the way to the front because I know he's exhausted, and at his wits in. 

I pick him up and bounce him while I'm waiting to put my groceries on the lane for the cashier to scan, and he eventually calms down and starts smiling at the customers behind us. When it comes to our turn I set him back in the cart, and the water works come back again. This time though he's so exhausted it's more of a Level 2 1/2 cry (You all know the levels right? They pretty much goes along with all the Defcom level rules) so not terrible, but I could see how annoying it would be. But what can yah do? I need to put my groceries up there so we can get the freak out of there. 

Anyways,  while I'm doing that the people behind me, who were a godsend, were trying to make him smile. But all the while in a couple aisles down this 4 person group are staring at me with those judgey eyes, and stares. You know what I'm talking about. Almost like the, "How dare you bring your crying baby in public" stare. I just rolled my eyes, and went back to my thing. He will eventually stop. Whether it's when I'm done, or those super kind people make him feel better - he will stop. 

I think it's the whispering that got me mad the most. First of all, if your going to judge a mom while grocery shopping at least have the decency to turn the freak around, and not stare at her and openly discuss what she's doing wrong. I could have killed. But I just tried to rationalize. Like maybe they don't have kids, or nieces or nephews. Maybe they are heartless insects who have the brain the size of a raisin. Who knows. All I know was I just wanted to get out of there before I smacked them. So I just focused on the super awesome couple behind me trying desperately to make him stop crying. It made me feel better that there are actually human beings living among me, and not a bunch of pods. 

Sometimes people surprise me with their open kindness. And then others just make me shake my head with disbelief. I know those people were saying some pretty callous things about me not taking care of my baby, but really there was nothing I could do except finish and get him home. When I got in the car I wanted to cry. First off, me cry? Ha. But I'll admit it almost broke me. I couldn't give a crap about what people think about me, but for some reason when people question my parenting and my love for my kid it actually breaks me down. 

So now I've decided to not let that happen again. Renner will throw tantrums and freak out again in public, no doubt about that - he is my kid. But I will not let strangers,  or anyone for that matter, make me feel as crappy as they did. I know I make mistakes, and I'm learning as I go along - but truly, who doesn't and isn't? I have the power to grant people the power on how they make me feel. But I alone have the power to shut it off or absorb it. The only people I truly care what they think about me are my Heavenly Father, my husband, and my family. Everyone else follows after. 

Judgey eyes and cold states will no long make me feel inadequate or stupid. I will simply let them roll off like I always have because I know I'm a good mom, and wife. And no one will take that away from me.

Don't ever let someone make you feel less about yourself. Your parenting is YOUR way. No one else's. Sometimes there really isn't anything to do but let the baby cry to get something done. And that's okay! Strangers don't know crap about your life, and they sure as hell don't have the right to judge it. 

Rant and post over.

Anyone else feel this way?

11 Months.. & A Bit.

It has been quite a long time since I've posted anything. It's just been a crazy few months with Christmas, and New Years. But I'm back!

Things have been pretty quiet around the Paisley Household. Christmas decorations are gone, but it snow is still falling. All in all, it's been a pretty boring winter. Well.. Winter to me is always boring. I don't snowboard, or ski, and basically slip every time I walk outside. Seriously. It literally takes me 10 minutes to walk out to the parking lot to get in our car. But when you live in Canada you basically have no choice but to master your coordination skills when walking on ice. 

Anyways, on another note, I am absolutely in love with Ren, and watching him grow up in front of me brings me so much joy. I can't believe he's going to be 1 in a month. Freak. It's scary. But exciting. Me with a 1 year old - oh man. He's hasn't walked yet. But he's getting there. He's practically scaling the walls already, and trying to balance, but he's got a huge ole head so it kind of throws him off a bit. I mean the kid is in 18-24 month old clothes already - he's huge. 

Now every month I put a most recent picture of Ren on Instagram and write from his point of view of what has been going on the past month, and what he has learned, and done. Here is this months :) - 

"So, I totally skipped last month. I was a bit busy snowboarding, and eating wrapping paper. So I will just do a little catch up - I'm everywhere, and anywhere I want to be. If I'm not trying to scale the walls or dig into my mom's purse, I'm trying to eat Roxy's food.

I've become pretty talented at escaping. Whether its diaper changes.. which mom has to hold me down with her legs - or getting out of a tricky situation involving getting dressed. I'm practically a newborn Houdini. 

I'm a super fast crawler too. I should win some sort of medal for it. I've been beginning to stand up on my own for about.. 30 seconds. Then I slowly go down. I've been pushing my big toys around, and walking around with them. Walking around the table, and holding Dads hand is sissy stuff. I'm trying to take it to the big leagues, and walk on my own. 

Roxy absolutely loves me. She comes and greets me every morning, and I yell - Ga-Ga! Every time I see her. Dad thinks it means I want something, but I'm really trying to tell her is, "I'm going to body slam you with love as soon as I get out of my cage, and drool all over your face." I'm still sleeping in my bed, and sleeping all the way through the night. I love my sleep, and usually don't get up till 9-10 ish. It's fantastic. 

I haven't been wanting to eat food lately. Pretty sure my top teeth are coming in. Not fun people. But all in all, I'm gonna be 1 in a month, and I am so excited. Mom and dad are kinda sad, but I'm almost 1! It's a big step, literally. 

Until my birthday homies! ✌️" 

STATS -

Weight: 27.5 Pounds

Height: 29 Inches

Shoe Size: 7

Clothes Size: 12-18 Months

ACCOMPLISHMENTS -

Pulls himself up, and walks along furniture 

Says ; Baba - Dada - Gaga (Said Mama once..)

Eats all table food & feeds himself

Stands up for a couple seconds

In front facing car seat

Speed crawling champ

Knows the words yes, no, come here, don't touch, food or eat, bath, & bottle

Knows who we are

Plays Peek-A-Boo

Chases us around the house

He makes me smile. We are so lucky to have Renner. Even with the little tantrums, all the late night sicky session, teething cray, and all the wonderful and not so wonderful days I have with him. It's all worth it.