This seriously happened. Today.

I wanted to be nice and surprise Keags with a super clean car, and had some time to spare, so why not? I waited in the line of cars for about 30 minutes.. Yeah, 30 minutes with Renner. I bribed him with Arrowroot biscuits, and a chewy notebook. He was pretty good though. He's a chill baby. 

Anyways, once I'm finally up there it (firstly, it didn't let me put my code in for whatever reason) opens, and I go in. It puts shampoo on my car, then tells me to go forward (as in go out). I have no other choice, but to go forward, and thinking it's going to rinse my car.. It doesn't. So I go under the air blowing thingy, and I think "Oh hell nah did I just pay 10 bucks to just get shampoo thrown on my car, and get it dried there." It didn't even look clean! So I back up. And I may have accidentally bumped the rinser thing, but that's besides the point. (It literally was a tap. Like it would have been me punching it.) 

That's when all hell broke loose. The front door closed, and it kept saying "Mechanical Error" over and over. So I honk my horn on repeat, and start yelling "Help!!!!! I'm stuck in here! Help me!!!"

No one hears me. They probably will have a good laugh when they watch the cameras because this crazy lady was all waving and yelling at the camera.. Well, when no one came for about 7 minutes I look up the number to the gas station and call them. 

The guy answers, and I say, "Hi there, I'm stuck in your car wash, can you please help me? And get me the freak out?!" 

And he, in broken English, says, "Uh where at?" 

"In your car wash.. You know.. The car wash attached to your gas station!? I'm stuck. It won't let me out and it keeps shouting at me."

"Oh well I will be there 10/15 minutes. I need to close the store." 

"Uh no no! Sorry but you will not leave me in here for 10 to 15 minutes! I have a baby. You need to come rescue me right now." 

"Well I'm only one here so I need close store, then I will come." 

"Just tell those fine people that there is a woman with a screaming baby stuck in your car wash! I promise you they will be more than happy to leave." 

Then we hang up. I call Keagan and I tell him all of that. What do you think he says? ..."Like hell is he making you wait that long! What is the number I'm calling him?" He does, then calls me back and tells me the guy will be right there. 

So all in all I finally got rescued. He asked me what happened, and he closes the car wash, even though he didn't technically because people kept going through it.. Whatever.

Ren was pretty chill for some of it, I was not. I was freaking out. All I kept thinking of was the movie "The Crazies" where the girl died in the car wash from getting hung by one of those rope things because that crazy, zombie dude through it around her neck. Yeah.. So needless to say I stayed in my car the whole time and barely rolled down my window when he talked to me. I got my money back, and went to a different car wash which had another line of 15 cars. So I just went home. And our car is still not washed. But it's the thought that counts right?!

       

Judgey Eyes.

I'm walking along alone, doing my thang in Superstore today with a half sick baby that has a death grip on my caridigan, and his paci while I'm pushing the cart. (Now going grocery shopping with an 11 month old baby is sometimes a task, going shopping with a sick 11 month old baby.. Shoot me now. But I figured he's doing okay, and we need food, and we both needed out of the house.) So I go to reach for something, and that causes that little chunk in Ren's hand to come out. As if on cue he started screaming. So I quickly grabbed that item, threw it in the cart, and shove that little section in Renner's hand. We did that a few times, but one particular time he didn't stop crying. I'm assuming because he finally got pissed at me constantly taking it out of his hands. So I speed walk all the way to the front because I know he's exhausted, and at his wits in. 

I pick him up and bounce him while I'm waiting to put my groceries on the lane for the cashier to scan, and he eventually calms down and starts smiling at the customers behind us. When it comes to our turn I set him back in the cart, and the water works come back again. This time though he's so exhausted it's more of a Level 2 1/2 cry (You all know the levels right? They pretty much goes along with all the Defcom level rules) so not terrible, but I could see how annoying it would be. But what can yah do? I need to put my groceries up there so we can get the freak out of there. 

Anyways,  while I'm doing that the people behind me, who were a godsend, were trying to make him smile. But all the while in a couple aisles down this 4 person group are staring at me with those judgey eyes, and stares. You know what I'm talking about. Almost like the, "How dare you bring your crying baby in public" stare. I just rolled my eyes, and went back to my thing. He will eventually stop. Whether it's when I'm done, or those super kind people make him feel better - he will stop. 

I think it's the whispering that got me mad the most. First of all, if your going to judge a mom while grocery shopping at least have the decency to turn the freak around, and not stare at her and openly discuss what she's doing wrong. I could have killed. But I just tried to rationalize. Like maybe they don't have kids, or nieces or nephews. Maybe they are heartless insects who have the brain the size of a raisin. Who knows. All I know was I just wanted to get out of there before I smacked them. So I just focused on the super awesome couple behind me trying desperately to make him stop crying. It made me feel better that there are actually human beings living among me, and not a bunch of pods. 

Sometimes people surprise me with their open kindness. And then others just make me shake my head with disbelief. I know those people were saying some pretty callous things about me not taking care of my baby, but really there was nothing I could do except finish and get him home. When I got in the car I wanted to cry. First off, me cry? Ha. But I'll admit it almost broke me. I couldn't give a crap about what people think about me, but for some reason when people question my parenting and my love for my kid it actually breaks me down. 

So now I've decided to not let that happen again. Renner will throw tantrums and freak out again in public, no doubt about that - he is my kid. But I will not let strangers,  or anyone for that matter, make me feel as crappy as they did. I know I make mistakes, and I'm learning as I go along - but truly, who doesn't and isn't? I have the power to grant people the power on how they make me feel. But I alone have the power to shut it off or absorb it. The only people I truly care what they think about me are my Heavenly Father, my husband, and my family. Everyone else follows after. 

Judgey eyes and cold states will no long make me feel inadequate or stupid. I will simply let them roll off like I always have because I know I'm a good mom, and wife. And no one will take that away from me.

Don't ever let someone make you feel less about yourself. Your parenting is YOUR way. No one else's. Sometimes there really isn't anything to do but let the baby cry to get something done. And that's okay! Strangers don't know crap about your life, and they sure as hell don't have the right to judge it. 

Rant and post over.

Anyone else feel this way?

2013 Flipgram Love.

New Years has come and gone, and 2013 was by far my favorite year. Probably because a certain little kid was born. Here is a cute little video I made on Flipgram (which is an awesome app at the AppStore) and it just shows a few dozen photos about Renner's birth, and our amazing year with him. Enjoy :) -

Bit of a Basketcase.

The other day we had this awesome Ward party celebrating the birth of Robert Burns, who is a famous Scottish poet. He was born in 1749 - which if he was a vampire he'd be 265. It was pretty awesome, we had Haggis (which I have found out is the bane of my existence), and we made meat loaf - and a bunch of other Scottish yummys.

But anyways, while we were doing a Scotland trivia quiz Renner had been holding onto the metal fold up chairs, and kind of walking around it. I had my leg on it in the beginning, and then I thought, meh he's not strong enough to pull it on top of him. Man was I wrong. About 5 minutes after I took my leg off the chair, he had reached up to grab the back top of it and pull it straight down on himself. He hit the back of his head on the gym floor, and the chair hit his face. It was probably the worst moment of my entire life. It was horrible. He screamed so loud, and wouldn't stop crying for about 15 minutes. So awful. I felt so guilty, and so sick to my stomach with how careless I was. I mean it was an honest mistake, and one I'll never make again, but you can't help but feel like a terrible parent. I've been kind of freaking out thinking he has some damage done, because he bashed that floor so hard.

Here the damages the day after -

He pretty much has been hating life ever since. I've been pretty worried about it, so I'm taking him to the clinic, but I'm sure he's just teething and extra hating on everything. Including me. He has a love/hate relationship with me. He either wants me to hold him, or put him down. He's quite emotional, but knows what he wants. What can yah do? Am I right, or am I right? 

So I've pretty much just been letting him eat some Popsicles, carrots, and those star treats. They pretty much are the only thing he will eat right now, and he will only feed himself. Apparently I just don't get the job done right. He's quite comical. 

Now we have just ditched church, and I'm letting him sleep. We got completely ready and then he just burst out into a 20 minute tear sesh, and I'm like okay.. That's twice in a day span that he's broken down like that - my biggest fear is that he has a concussion. I'm praying he doesn't - just for my own personal guilt. But we shall see what the good doc says. For now, I'm just going to drink my orange juice till my cute husband gets home, then I'll drive him to work, and take Ren to the walk in - they don't open till noon anyways. And that way Renner will just sleep until then. 

Anyone have any ideas why he could be screaming his face off for that long? Traumatized from that whole event is what I've been thinking. Pretty sure he has a raging headache, so the Tylenol has been close by. Oh my poor baby. 

By the way! We switched him to a front facing car seat - YAY. I think I'm way more excited about it than anyone. It's quite glorious, and super cute. I love that he is facing this way because now, not only is it super convenient on giving him snacks, but I can see what he is doing, and look at him all the time. I love it. But it does make me feel a bit nostalgic for his newborn stage.. kinda. Then again although I'm sad for his independent days, its kinda awesome too. 

11 Months.. & A Bit.

It has been quite a long time since I've posted anything. It's just been a crazy few months with Christmas, and New Years. But I'm back!

Things have been pretty quiet around the Paisley Household. Christmas decorations are gone, but it snow is still falling. All in all, it's been a pretty boring winter. Well.. Winter to me is always boring. I don't snowboard, or ski, and basically slip every time I walk outside. Seriously. It literally takes me 10 minutes to walk out to the parking lot to get in our car. But when you live in Canada you basically have no choice but to master your coordination skills when walking on ice. 

Anyways, on another note, I am absolutely in love with Ren, and watching him grow up in front of me brings me so much joy. I can't believe he's going to be 1 in a month. Freak. It's scary. But exciting. Me with a 1 year old - oh man. He's hasn't walked yet. But he's getting there. He's practically scaling the walls already, and trying to balance, but he's got a huge ole head so it kind of throws him off a bit. I mean the kid is in 18-24 month old clothes already - he's huge. 

Now every month I put a most recent picture of Ren on Instagram and write from his point of view of what has been going on the past month, and what he has learned, and done. Here is this months :) - 

"So, I totally skipped last month. I was a bit busy snowboarding, and eating wrapping paper. So I will just do a little catch up - I'm everywhere, and anywhere I want to be. If I'm not trying to scale the walls or dig into my mom's purse, I'm trying to eat Roxy's food.

I've become pretty talented at escaping. Whether its diaper changes.. which mom has to hold me down with her legs - or getting out of a tricky situation involving getting dressed. I'm practically a newborn Houdini. 

I'm a super fast crawler too. I should win some sort of medal for it. I've been beginning to stand up on my own for about.. 30 seconds. Then I slowly go down. I've been pushing my big toys around, and walking around with them. Walking around the table, and holding Dads hand is sissy stuff. I'm trying to take it to the big leagues, and walk on my own. 

Roxy absolutely loves me. She comes and greets me every morning, and I yell - Ga-Ga! Every time I see her. Dad thinks it means I want something, but I'm really trying to tell her is, "I'm going to body slam you with love as soon as I get out of my cage, and drool all over your face." I'm still sleeping in my bed, and sleeping all the way through the night. I love my sleep, and usually don't get up till 9-10 ish. It's fantastic. 

I haven't been wanting to eat food lately. Pretty sure my top teeth are coming in. Not fun people. But all in all, I'm gonna be 1 in a month, and I am so excited. Mom and dad are kinda sad, but I'm almost 1! It's a big step, literally. 

Until my birthday homies! ✌️" 

STATS -

Weight: 27.5 Pounds

Height: 29 Inches

Shoe Size: 7

Clothes Size: 12-18 Months

ACCOMPLISHMENTS -

Pulls himself up, and walks along furniture 

Says ; Baba - Dada - Gaga (Said Mama once..)

Eats all table food & feeds himself

Stands up for a couple seconds

In front facing car seat

Speed crawling champ

Knows the words yes, no, come here, don't touch, food or eat, bath, & bottle

Knows who we are

Plays Peek-A-Boo

Chases us around the house

He makes me smile. We are so lucky to have Renner. Even with the little tantrums, all the late night sicky session, teething cray, and all the wonderful and not so wonderful days I have with him. It's all worth it.